No Man's Land [Completed]

Take a sip, take a pill

Shoto arrived soon after, Izuku waited there for nearly five minutes.

He stopped the car in front of him and got off it nearing Izuku.

"Izu! Sorry for the wait, I got stuck in traffic..."

Izuku smiled

"It was just five minutes..."

"Still" he answered and gave him a little peck on the lips; Izuku was not fond of showing affection in public.

Shoto took his hand and looked at him

"How would it go?"

Izuku shrugged "Good, I think"

Shoto furrowed his brows "Are you sure? You don't seem fine"

Izuku was fed up.

"I told you I am fine! What do you want more?"

He was taken aback by his sudden outburst and withdrew his hand.

"Sorry... I did not mean to not believe you"

"Whatever" He said and got in the car slamming the small door shut.

Shoto frowned for his childish behavior, he knew Izuku was not fine but how could he knew what his boyfriend had if he did not want to talk to him?

And Izuku sat there waiting for this ride to start and end as soon as possible. His right hand founding his left wrist and scratching it till it was red and almost bleeding in some small point.

The pain made him hiss and covered it with his hoodie.

"Fuck" he murmured under his breath.

Soon after the left small door opened and Shot sat into the driver seat. He turned on the car and watching that no other cars were approaching he turned the wheel and went on the road.

The ride was quiet and Shoto keep sending glances towards Izuku who was too silent for a shiny boy like him.

"Izuku" He whispered.

"NOT! Now..." He shouted grasping his jeans "Please..." he added after some time watching out of the window.

"Ok" Shoto said defeated.

However, in his mind words echoed: Izuku himself taught him to never leave someone who is suffering so much alone, someone who can not elaborate his own pain should never be left alone.

"Ok is what I should say, but I'm not going to give up. Izuku, are you really fine?"

Izuku tensed up, a little bit proud for how Shoto has changed during these past months.

He did not know what to say, he did not want to tell him the truth.

"Shoto please stop this car, I'm suffocating," He said opening his hoodie.

First sign of a panic attack: The air is never enough.

"Ok, ok. Breath Izuku, Breath" Shoto said trying to find a spot.

Second sign of a panic attack: Self-destructive behavior

Izuku touched his face and felt numb. He touched his wrist and felt the skin still sensible. He touched there more.

Shoto's hand were soon on his to prevent any more damage.

"Don't do this please, Izuku"

Third sign of a panic attack: The space around you is too little, too suffocating.

"Please let me out"

He touched the window.

Shoto found a spot and parked not really well. Izuku opened the door and fell down. He puked and his hair was stuck over his face. His stomach lurched forward wanting to leave his body, he wanted to leave his body too.

"God Izuku!" He shouted and got off the car and went near him: Izuku was trembling, breath ragged.

Fourth sign of a panic attack: Feeling nauseous, not answering.

"Izuku! Please..." He pleaded and put his right hand on his forehead and his left over his back helping him.

Izuku could felt other people watching him, watching them and felt ashamed, Oh so embarrassed of how a mess he was. How a shitty psychologist he was.

"Breath Izuku, I am here for you"

Shoto said hugging him once he finished vomiting. Izuku watched him with clouded eyes.

"Sh... Shoto?"

The other guy nodded and hugged him tight.

"I'm here, it will all be good. You are fine," He whispered to him like a mantra.

And Izuku felt a sudden tiredness overwhelming him.

"I'm sad"

He whispered to Shoto.

"I know you are, my love. I watch you every day and it hurts me not being able to help you"

Izuku cried into his arms.

"I'm so sad"

"I know... I am sorry" Shoto said letting some tears falling down his own eyes

"I know you are sad" he went on.

"Let me help you..."

Izuku shouted, an anger driven shout. And his tears fell down more and more. He trembled and shouted.

"I don't want to live anymore"

He whispered with his voice hoarse.

And Shoto could swear he felt his heart break.

----------Note-----

I know it is short but I have almost no time these days.

Next chapter will be longer!

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