33

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33 : whipped
song : rush - lewis capaldi ft. jessie reyez

My father went missing almost two years ago

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My father went missing almost two years ago. The day that my father was officially announced as missing was quite possibly the most terrifying moment of my life.

My father loved to travel and his work let him do exactly that. We would go weeks without hearing from him, and that was normal. He was on his business trips that were filled with so much work that finding time to call us was more difficult than it sounded.

We would set up calls as often as he could, and my mother and I would gather around the phone and talk with him for hours, or sometimes not even ten minutes.

My mother and I were close back then, we all were. We were the picturesque royal family. It was everything you would think it would be.

My mother and I would watch a movie every Friday night when we would dish out on low-calorie popcorn as a treat. Every Sunday she would make us pancakes and create smiley faces out of blueberries. Who she was, we were, is a very stark contrast to the people we are now.

When my father was home we were everything any family dreams to be.

For the past two years the only thing that fills my mind is confusion and pain. Confusion became a feeling I was so familiar with that I took it in stride of my daily life, and worked around it.

But this? This feeling that was all consuming? It's much too hard to explain, but it feels so much worse than confusion.

The photo that stared up at me from the bland manilla folder on Vitale's desk was of my father.

His dark hair was slicked back, his blue eyes crinkled in the corners as his mouth formed a smile. It was a candid photo, he was mid-laugh, quite obviously talking to someone out of frame. I could hear his laughter just from looking at the photo and it was comforting and haunting at the same time.

The photo wouldn't have had me at a loss for words at any other time, but the small date stamped in the corner in yellow font reading three weeks ago, stumped my ability to speak.

I could feel the lump in my throat grow, my palms that rest on my legs were becoming increasingly clammy as I continued to stare at the man I knew all too well.

The silence in the room was nearly deafening, and for a girl who usually knew what to say in every situation, I was, for the first time in my life, speechless.

"Is this...Is this some sort of sick joke?" I wondered aloud, my eyes finding Vitale's green ones.

The pity that pooled in his eyes gave me more of an answer than his words ever could and I found myself releasing a deep sigh, redirecting my gaze to the ceiling in hopes to relieve the stinging sensation in my eyes.

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