Fallen Angels (UNEDITED)

XLII

A secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played
~ Linkin Park, In The End

I knew that once something started to go great and everything seemed to be falling into place that meant it would all be crashing down, but that was life.

I should have known that being able to tour with Fallen Angels was too good to be true, not to mention being able to work for them.

I should have known that all the good things in my life would burn.

It was as if someone had dumped kerosene into my life and decided to drop a match in the middle.

"What are you thinking of?" Kyle flops down into one of the deck chairs beside me.

"How this may be the end?" I don't want it to be, but with the way things have been...

There's a grim look on his face at my comment.

I think everyone is feeling it especially since the label sent a team to Orlando to deal with the situation.

There's no word on whether or not we are going to continue on with the tour or just cancel it altogether and regroup before Warped.

That is if Fallen Angels is even a thing by then.

"How's the meeting?" Kyle is staring at the hotel pool with a look of frustration on his face, "Kyle!"

I nudge his shoulder, seeing if that will pull his mind from where ever it drifted off to, "what sorry?"

I can't help but give him a look of pity, as from what I've gathered from the rest of his band mates he was truly in love with Scarlett.

"She's back home in Chicago getting the help she needs, we both know that." Silence fills our bodies at the mention of her name. It's as if a hole opened above our heads and sucked the life from us, leaving our shells behind.

"I can't believe I didn't see the signs that she was off the rails again." Kyle throws his head into his hands and grips at the hair that lines his face.

"Hey, let go." I swat his hands from his face as I see the colour leave his skin, "you can't blame yourself. Addiction is an illness and you can't just wave a fairy wand and make it all disappear. If it was that simple we wouldn't have mental health, all we can do is support her and give her strength to keep fighting."

I give his shoulder a gentle squeeze as I can see the internal fight within his eyes and the tears pushing to be released, "when we are able to call her we will okay? But for now she needs to think about herself and not be reminded of who she hurt."

"Erik is lucky to have you." Kyle squeezes my hand that rests on his shoulder before standing up, "I'm supposed to be on a smoke break, but I wanted to see how you're holding up before I head out."

"I'm doing okay, keep me posted on how the meeting is going." Kyle offers me a smile before heading back into the hotel while taking out his package of cigarettes.

Everyone has their fix, and some of them are more deadly than others.

If I had known that Scarlett had a drinking problem, I wouldn't have ordered those beers all those times ago.

All these what ifs run through my mind in how I could have helped the raven hair beauty in the short time we've known each other.

It's scary how much someone can hide and pretend to be okay while internally destructing.