I laid on the bed thinking do I really wanna go through with this.
I wiped the tear that almost fell as he continued moving it around. "Doc?" "Yes?" "Do you have a lot of people to change their minds?"
"Yes it's nothing new especially after we take a look at the baby. Are you having second thoughts?" I shook my head no.
"I was just wondering." He nodded.
"Okay we're going to take you into the room." He gave me this lil liquid.
"Drink it. It'll help for when you push."
I opened it as he rolled me to the room my breathing quickened. "Here ya go." I had to put on this gown.
I went to the restroom and those ladies words rung in my head.
I looked at my flat stomach.
"I'm so sorry baby. Will you forgive me? I don't know but I pray you do." I said. I changed clothes and laid back in the bed.
A lady walked in.
"Hey I'm Dr. Francais and I'll be doing your abortion." "Hey." I said.
"You know we get a lot of young girls like you in here. Confused and scared but our job is to help you continue life but you know what they never think about?"
"What?" She slid her gloves on.
"They never think why did God do this? Will this be the only one I can have? Is God sending this baby down as a lesson or a blessing? Why me?" She said.
"Well when you can't afford a child you have no other choice." "Well you are right. Legs up." She got these clamps and used em to spread my coochie apart. It was so fucking painful.
"Okay so drink you're beverage and we'll get to it." I opened it and right as I was about to take a sip it hit me.
"I can't do this." I said panicking.
I pulled the clamps out and got off the table. "Ms. Fenty calm down."
"I can't do this. I can't I can't I can't." I said having a panick attack. "We understand baby girl look here calm down. We have mother's second guess it all the time but make sure you're doing this for you okay?" I nodded.
"Put your clothes back on and we're going to give you a doctor to go to for checkups."
"Thank you." "No problem baby girl good luck." She walked out as I changed. My baby's ultrasound played in my head and I couldn't get rid of her.
I grabbed the pictures and sent Brandy a picture. 'Looks like we got a baby.' I texted her. She responded. '😫🤞🏼🤰🏽Omggggg I'mma God mommy.' I laughed and grabbed the doctor's information.
I walked out wiping my tears.
I was so proud of myself. I went to the front. "Ms. Fenty?" "Yes?" "Here ya go. First doctor's appointment is next week at 12:00 p.m with Dr. Hunt."
"Thank you." "No problem."
I walked out to see Ms. Bank's car outside. "So?" She asked. "I couldn't do it. They showed me the baby and I just couldn't."
I showed her a picture. "Awww." She said smiling. "Boy or girl?"
"A girl." "Why?"
"Cause I don't want my son to be like his raggedy ass daddy excuse my language." She laughed. "Are you going to tell him?"
"Naw. We don't need him." I said.
She nodded. "Well let's take you clothes shopping." She said. "Why? We don't even know the gender yet."
