fifty-two

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||CHAPTER 52||
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Perplexity was a quaint emotion. It came in phases, the first one being self-questioning, you don't know if you're right. You keep on wondering whether you knew anything in the first place. The second stage was of strange, utter confusion, you don't know if the other person is right either. The third stage in of unsurity, where you figure out something is out of place, and the missing piece is almost in your grasp.

However, when Karan was able to grasp the piece, he wished he hadn't tried fixing the jagged edges; this puzzle was better off without its missing piece.

Silence reigned in its wake, and it had been so, for the past half an hour. Karan was able to swallow the fact, its digestion was another story. The three of us had occupied the three corners of the balcony upstairs. I couldn't look at him, and he wouldn't look up.

"Why is this not suprising?" He finally broke the silence, chuckling to himself. I had a hint about what he was referring to: me.

However, no one dared to reply to him. We were afraid, and we were treading on thin ice here.

"What do you want?" He gulped. He was smart, he didn't loom in the cluelessness.

"Karan, calm down," Vansh stood straighter. "Ye baath sirf hamare beech mein hai-"

"Are you fcuking kidding me?"

Rage had overpowered him, and a foreign feeling had hit home in the pit of my stomach.

"Do you even hear yourself? You guys..."

"Leave Vansh out of it," I finally dared to speak. "It was all me."

"Strange how I don't doubt that at all, you manipulative bitch!"

"Don't you dare call her that," Vansh bellowed.

Karan had gripped the railing, his fingers clenching around the cylindrical rod so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. He was breathing heavily. It was too cold.

Two boys had called me that tonight, and both had different senses laced to it. I smiled.

"Glad you see me the way I am, Karan," I shrugged. "Vansh, go inside."

"Why now, huh?" Karan turned to me. "Brave enough to drag him, and ruin our friendship? Be fcuking brave enough to drown him!"

I blinked, moving the hair out of my face.

"You," his index finger pointed at me, "I do not want to see your face from now on. Neither of you."

"For a person whose secret I know, you're dauntless to demand such a thing." And I should probably shut up.

"Arvika." It was Vansh this time. I could hear him, but I was capturing the anger, rage and the tinge of helplessness in Karan Bahl's eyes.

And strangely enough, I was reciprocating. The feeling in the pit of my stomach?

I later realised it was called guilt.

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"Is this going to be a normal thing? Tu parties se itne jaldi kyoo aa jati hai?"

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