12. I want to...

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The silence was almost unbearable. He was looking at you with shaking eyes and a small smile on his lips. He didn't seem surprise to see your lost face. He thought it was cute. His fingers touched your cheek and you leaned into the touch, unconsciously. His hand was big, but surprisingly soft. Like a hero's hand should be. You wanted to say something, when a cough take you off guard. You stood back, feeling like your lungs would just fall off.

" You should lay down." He said, leading you to his bed. "You still have temperature and cough, apparently." Not knowing what to say, nor what to say, you just nodded, which made him chuckle. You willingly laid down, and took the medication he gave you.

You still had problems with processing, what had just happened. You weren't sure yourself, if you weren't hallucinating. He kissed you. All those feelings. You felt it, so it couldn't be a lie. He... cared about you, worried about you, he liked you... Present Mic liked you! You touched your lips and smiled a bit to yourself, still feeling his soft lips on yours. NO. Hizashi Yamada liked you. This had made you somehow even more happy.

Villain!

You closed your eyes, hearing your father's voice in your head. You put the glove on and the slight smile disappeared as fast as it shown up. It wasn't a dream, but hell you knew, you didn't deserve it. He was a pro-hero. The great Present Mic, who could have anyone. Any beautiful, smart woman, with a less villainous, hell with it, even hero like quirk. You could never make him happy. What would people think if he would ever show himself with someone like you? You would ruin his reputation. You shut your eyes, to make sure that the tears won't fall down. Nothing changed! And you had to make sure, that this will go on like that. You needed to make sure, that he will forget about the kiss. About all those feelings. You know you would be able to erase the memories he gave you, but you weren't sure whether you would be able to do it, in his head.

"Does anything hurt?" You opened your eyes, just to see him looking at you with a concern. His beautiful eyes, calm face and this small smile under that ridiculous moustache. You loved it so much. You wanted him to be yours. To smile to you just like that. Everyday. But you knew you were being selfish. You can't do it. Not to yourself. And not to him. You needed to disappear. He will be hurt for a while, but with the time, he will forget about you and live on. Find himself someone better than you. Someone mentally stable, with amazing personality and strong quirk. Someone that would be able to help him, as much as he would help. He needed his own hero, and you weren't one.

"No. I'm just tired", you lied. It hurt so much. Your heart hurt as it never hurt before. You needed to hide it. Put a mask on, until you leave his house. You couldn't show anything to him, as he would only worry.

"Than lay down and sleep. I can make you some tea", he said smiling to you brightly. He looked so happy. But for how long? Your parents were right. You did not deserve happiness. A lonely life was something that suited you.

" I don't want anything", you laid down and turned your back to him. You knew you were acting rude, but you needed to run away from him. At least emotionally. At least till you were still here. In his house, his room, his bed. You wanted him to join you. To lay down next to you. Hug you, even touch you, like only a man can. As much as you hated, when Mia was talking about it, you were always wondering, whether sex was fun, whether it felt good.

He got up and looked at your laying body. He frowned and sighed quietly. He took the glass, you used to drink up the meds, and left the room, closing doors behind him. He went into the kitchen and sat down on the floor, feeling guilt growing inside of him. Something felt so good, and so wrong at the same time.

He was sure you wanted it, when he leaned into you. Your eyes, your words, those feelings. You loved him, and he knew it. Than why? Why were you acting so cold towards him? Why are trying to push him away. AGAIN? He rested his head on his knees, closing his eyes. All those memories, all those feelings. Her cry, her pain. He felt like he was experiencing all this for you. He wished he was there, to help you, when you were alone and scared. How much he wished, he could have come back in time and take you out of the streets. Or even stop your parents from making the biggest mistake of their lives. He hated them. They broke you. They made you like that. You have become a shell of a person, who is too scared to trust anyone. A person that doubts herself, and can't accept any good thing that is happening in your life. They made it all. They caused that.

He wanted you to trust him. He wanted to lay down next to you and hug you and show you, that he is there, right beside you. That you could just cry and laugh, swear and scream. He was there for you. He didn't know what he could do more. He was sure, that if you would feel the emotions yourself, you would believe him. But no. The tone of your voice, the thought, that you turned your back on him, was enough of the reason for him to believe that you didn't.

He was losing you. And he knew that very well. Not only as a person that he started to fell in love with, but also as a friend. He screwed up, not even knowing when and how. He couldn't read you, and that annoyed him as hell.

"FUCK!" He hissed to himself, feeling anger rising inside of him. He wanted to get up and just throw things around. Break all those things around him. Let the anger just fill him up and let it go.

"Are you ok, Yamada-san?" He shoot up and looked at you with a surprise. "I would like to get home, take a shower and change into some new clothes." You blushed looking away from him. You could feel his stare on you, and how he was just standing there, not moving an inch. "I already called a taxi, so you wouldn't have to worry...". You added when the silence was once again unbearable.

" Y/N..." he started taking a step towards you, but he stopped, when you took a step back. He cursed internally and sighed quietly. He wanted to stop you, to kiss you once again. To make you stay and smile, maybe even laugh. He turned around and leaned on the counter, trying to control the anger growing inside of him. All he needed to do was turn around and stop you. Get you close to him... But he couldn't. He didn't want to force you to anything. If you waned to leave, forget about the kiss and... " Just make sure you'll get there alright..." You nodded and smiled sadly. You took your bag and started walking to the doors. "I don't want you to go." You stopped mid-way and swallowed hard, feeling your heart beating faster. His voice was quiet and stern somehow. He didn't turn to look at you, neither did you. " I want you to stay. I want you to stop thinking that you are not enough. I want to..." He turned around and walked towards you, standing just inches away. His eyes sparkled and his voice cracked. " I want to kiss you whenever I want. I want you to be by my side, when I will need you the most, and I want to be there for you when you will need me. I want to spend my free time with you and ... " He stopped and smiled awkwardly, taking your hand in his. " I want to wake up next to you." You heart was beating so fast, you didn't know if it wasn't just a hallucination. You bit your lip and looked up into his beautiful eyes. They looked so sad and so happy at the same time. He was serious. Were you really able to make this man happy? Were you really...

" I'm not worth your affection, Yamada-san..." you started squeezing his hand a bit more, feeling nervous. " I don't understand why you want to spend time with me. I am not interesting, not even that smart, and not even good looking... I am just..." You stopped feeling his soft lips on your lips. You completely froze not knowing what to do. You wanted to kiss him back.

" You are more than worth it. You are the strongest woman... no... you are the strongest person I know. Your quirk is just amazing, and used in a good way, would be useful for the humanity. And please don't even get me started on how you affect me" he grinned and looked down and the small mountain rising at his pants. You blushed and looked away, which made him chuckle. " I want you and no-one else. Please give me a chance to make you happy. I..."

"Ok..." You whispered and smiled to him. You went on your tiptoes and landed a kiss on his lips.



So... I think the next few chapters will be a happy ones so be aware haha. Hope you enjoed that one, even though it was short <3

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