just a dream (camren)

forty two

June 21st, 2017

"It's like she's afraid of me or something."

"It's not like she's afraid of you," Dinah answers, rolling her eyes, "she is afraid of you."

Lauren shoots her a look, sighing. "That's not at all comforting. She's my girlfriend, she can't be scared of me. It's like, no matter what I do, she thinks I'm this scary popular kid that she can't talk to. It's like she thinks I'm better than her, which we both know I'm not."

"Look, Lo, she's just really anxious," Dinah says, "even more than Camila was when we were younger and on X Factor. Back then, she was a little shy and socially awkward, but compared to this, she was a social butterfly. You've got to remember that she's still our Camila, but she thinks she's this one. She has all of the memories of this one, so she developed differently. Something must've happened to her to make her so anxious of you."

"But she wouldn't tell me if I asked, and it's not like I can remember anything big like that. The only thing I can think of is the time she tried telling me she liked my shirt here, and I didn't hear her," Lauren points out, "but that's no different to now; she can still barely say three words to me. And I'm trying, okay? I'm trying to be patient but she's like... she's scared of me. She won't say anything to me."

"Then you've got to make her trust you." Dinah says, and when Lauren rolls her eyes, she rolls hers back. "I know. Easy for me to say, right? I already have Mila's trust. But that makes it easier for the two of us to figure this out. If she opens up to you, maybe she'll remember everything again."

Lauren just sighs, resting her head on Dinah's shoulder. "It's just hard. To know that she's stuck in there, you know? At least with me, Camila didn't really know, and even when she did, she still denied it because she didn't want it to be me."

"Well..." Dinah shrugs. "Drop subtle hints about who you are. Who she is. We both had dreams about I before we remembered, right? If she starts having them, then we need to take it as a good sign."

"What if she's just trapped?" Lauren asks, trying not to be pessimistic, but all of the negative thoughts she has are rushing to the forefront of her mind. "Maybe the whole point of me remembering was to stop her from forgetting? But because she did forget we're stuck here forever."

"Don't talk like that," Dinah quickly chastises her. "We're okay. We're all going to be okay."

"I just don't know how I'm going to remind Camila who she is when she won't even talk to me." Lauren says, trying to change the subject. How can Dinah know if they're going to be okay? Lauren has no idea what could happen at this point. "We're going out on Saturday, but she's being so distant that I worry I might get stood up."

"No, Mila wouldn't do that," Dinah shakes her head. "Not even when she's like this. When you forgot yourself, you still talked to her."

"Yeah." Lauren frowns, thinking back to the moment she'd seen Camila in the mall, and it'd felt like something was telling her to go over and get the other girl's attention. And when she'd done it, she had no idea why. Maybe the real Camila's influence will stop Camila avoiding her when she's like this.

Unless the real Camila is still mad at you, taunts a voice in the back of her head, maybe it'll make her avoid you more.

"Camila loves you, Laur," Dinah assures her, and Lauren just sighs, "I promise you. Camila loves you."

"Camila loves you."

"No, she doesn't," Lauren sighs, biting down on her bottom lip. "In fact, she probably hates me. After everything I've done, I deserve her hate."