Tension

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The night continued. Me and Sadie dancing, swaying to the beat of the music. I tried so hard to not get bothered as to what Finn was doing with Millie, since they were both gone.

Why did it bother me so much? Why should I care about what Finn does? He's an asshole, like what am I even doing-

I let go of Sadie.

«ah, I need to get a drink. I just need a break» I give her a half smile and she gives me one back as she nods.

God! Can I just STOP thinking about him?! It annoys me so fucking much, I hate myself.

I showed the drink down my throat, it annoyed me that I didn't know what was going on. My feelings were all over the place.

I had Sadie, she was wonderful. But then again; Finn, the guy who I shared a close bond to for several months and shared so many moments with.

I shook the thought off my mind and I chugged another drink.

God, I couldn't think with this loud music. I just needed to get out, so I rushed outside where we stood earlier.

I leaned on the railing, looking down. Felt the cold wind sway my hair side to side. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

_____

The next morning we were all cramped in the makeup trailer. I sat there; watching Finn and Millie sitting next to each other, laughing. My eyes narrowed as I passed my judgement onto them.

My glare stopped when Sadie walked in the trailer; everyone said hey. She smiled as she always does. I looked at her as she sat down next to me, we embraced each other in a hug. Then we just held each other, I smiled radiantly; making sure that everyone saw how happy I was.

«how was yesterday for you guys?» Millie smiled.

«oh, it was perfect and so much fun.» I answered in an angelic, perfect voice as Sadie nodded. «what did you guys do? It seemed like you guys just disappeared throughout the night.»

Millie took a second to answer as I just stared her flatly in her eyes. «uhm- we were just hanging out, ahah. watched some movies, you know.» she chuckled in somewhat nervousness.

I nodded while I curled my lips. «interesting. what movie did you guys see?» I asked as I somewhat narrowed my eyes.

Finn stared at me; wondering what kind of game I was playing. I smiled and tilted my head to him as a response.

«uhm- it was just some movie; I don't recall what it was called.» she laughed it off.

I smirked and raised one eyebrow. «so, you guys were perhaps busy doing something else, huh?»

Millie shifted her face from smiling to shock.

I raised both my eyebrows and gave her a sly smile.

Finn chuckled nervously. «it was a Netflix film, something called 'to all the boys I've loved before'.» Finn stepped in, saving Millie.

«hm, what was the movie about? I've heard about it but I don't remember what it's about. Care to enlighten me?» I asked intrigued.

The whole room was quiet and filling up with tension. Finn gave me a death glare; signalizing me to stop.

It was quiet for several seconds. «uhm...» Finn said hesitantly, I could see through his eyes that he was thinking like clockwork.

I sat there patiently, waiting for any of them to answer. I was staring at Finn, making him more nervous. Just say it, tell the truth. I thought to myself. Come on...

He opened up his mouth, and closed it again. I kept leaning in, waiting impatiently now. Still, it gave me pleasure seeing how stressed he was. He opened his mouth yet again and looked as if he was actually going to say something; until the door opened up, making everyone jump and the tension was gone. «Millie, we need you to shoot the scene and you too Sadie. Gaten, Caleb, they need you two down at the set to get your lines ready and prepped.» they all nodded and left, not saying a word.

It was only me and Finn left in the room. He stared at me with hatred in his eyes while he was shaking his head. I didn't flinch or get affected; I tilted my head to the side and raised my eyebrow.

«what is it that you're doing? What the hell was that?!» he bursted out in fury.

«what? you saw the movie, not me. don't understand what the big fuzz is with saying what the plot of the movie is.» I responded calm and innocent.

«you know exactly what I mean.» he said with an irked voice.

«geeze, I just asked you a question. don't get so fucking upset and mad, it's over dramatic and extra. looks like you have been affected by Millie after all.» i mumbled

(I'm sorry to y'all Millie stans, this is only for the book)

I saw the fury in his eyes, he clenched his fists and unclenched them. «what's your problem?» he said staring directly at me, trying to intimidate me.

«my problem is you.» I leaned in, my face now no longer smiling or smirking, but with annoyance & no emotions. «why can't you guys just say what you were doing? there's no fucking point in lying. look at where it got you, Finn.»

He shook his head. «it's none of your business. why do you even care?»

«Jesus Christ Finn! I simply asked you a question, dont flatter yourself by thinking that I actually care about what you do in your day to day life; not everything is circling around you.» i roll my eyes in disgust and fury at how dumb some can be while I chuckled at this idiocy.

«you kept asking and asking like a fucking game show host!» he exclaimed.

I shook my head. «Jesus Finn. We both know you were lying, why can't you just tell the truth?" I asked softly.

He looked at me and softened his eyes. We looked at eachother for a little while until he moved his gaze down to the floor. I exhaled, as if I held my breath the whole time we looked at eachother.

I knitted my brows, I just got more and more curious. It was if Finn was filled with shame.

It was almost scaring me how strained Finn got. The room was quiet, we could almost hear the directors shouting outside.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally shifted his gaze to me and looked me directly in the eye. His eyes were sparkling and his whole face was soft, almost vulnerable.

He opened his mouth just as he was about to say something and yet again, a crew member opens the door; making both of us jump and the tension gone.

"They need you Finn."

He gave me one last look; sadness, guilt, disgust, mystery, sorrow, regret, anticipation, struggle, all were plastered on his face. And what felt like slow motion, he turned his head around and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

The room became quiet and lonely. I stared directly in front of me, at the empty seat. Cold and lonely, my mind occupied by all sorts of thoughts. Overthinking.

____

WOAHHH- i actually updated!!! DAMNN- who would've thought ??? haaa- well I'm so sorry for the wait- I've been writing so much on something else so I'm so sorry shsh- but I've slowly returned to this book and yea- djsj I'll try to update more often shsj

as always- please comment and say what your thoughts are and what I need to improve on etc 😊💖

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