Delicious Rose

47

Rose

We've been in the air for two hours, I've hardly spoken a word since we arrived at the airport. Since Luca told me he loves me, that he wants to be with me. I walked away from him, I had too. I can't just give up my life for him, he left me and I had to move on. I had to sort my head out, that's when Jacob snuck his way in.

I love Jacob, he's sweet, caring and we have so much in common. I have felt safe with him since the night he helped me in the bar, he's stuck by me since. Everyone said I rushed into being with him, even though it took at least four months to make our relationship official. I also know a part of me has never been sure if that was the right thing to do, I knew getting over Luca would take a while.
I also know everything happened so fast with Luca, it was intense and passionate and nothing I had ever experience before. We only knew each other not even three months before our relationship came crashing down.

It's also surprising how someone you barely know can change everything, someone who can make anything seem so easy, so peaceful. He was cruel, spineless and completely unaware of the damage he caused. But no one really saw the other side to him, he was gentle, affectionate and so romantic. And I know he really loved me, he told me everything about him. His childhood was the perfect family dream; his happy life was everything I ever wanted. But when Rachel broke his heart, he became a playboy with a serious attitude problem. But I somehow changed that, he became the person he told me he was before.
Pulling my earphones out as the flight attendant passes me over my pasta, the sight of food makes me want to throw up. I'm not hungry. Far from it. My stomach is constantly flipping every time I think of him, my head pounding so bad I can barely keep my eyes open.

"You okay?" Chloe asks, which surprises me. I look over at the girls who are eating their food, I don't even know how to answer it. Am I okay? Do I just say I am so they don't ask any questions?

"I told him to be at the airport, he messaged me on Facebook and I couldn't say no." Darcy spits out, I can see the guilt creeping it ways across her face. She feels so bad; does she expect me to be angry with her?

"I'm not angry, just confused I guess." I smile at her, a real fake smile but it's the best I can do right now.

"Can I say something?" Chloe asks, myself and Darcy look towards her. Anxiety rushing through my body, I can't handle the thought of her going off on one like she used to about Luca. I need my friends to be loving and supportive right now. I know I'm pissing them off; I've been such a downer since I saw him. I've been trying so hard to have fun and I feel awful with the way I've been acting. But right now, I need them to just be nice.

"I'm really not in the mood for you to drill into me right now Chloe." I lean my head back against the headrest, closing my eyes. My headache getting worse by the second. I need some strong painkillers, vodka. Something that can knock me straight out for a few hours so I can give my brain a rest.

"I just want to say sorry, I know I've never been supportive when it came to Luca, but Jesus Rose, what are you doing?" Chloe's voice hits me, I sit up straight and opening my eyes to properly look at her. Her blue eyes sympathetic, Darcy's sitting further back into her chair giving Chloe the room to speak.

"What do you mean what am I doing?" I ask her. She rolls her eyes dramatically causing Darcy to laugh a little. I ignore it though, I'm confused and battling this inside my mind is killing my brain cells.

"Exactly that, what the hell are you doing? Luca dumped his girlfriend, waited for you at the airport and begged you to love him again, he cried on the floor in the middle of JFK and you're on this bloody plane with us, I almost fell in love with him just by seeing that." Her eyes fierce, I can tell she's trying to read my mind.