» iii. lies

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I spent the evening in my father's study, picking out flooring and furniture for my room, while he was doing paperwork at his other desk. Apparently they were working on a new deal with a bunch of other companies in order to expand - even more.

When I was done ordering things I just looked around the room for a while, sketching some outlines on an empty sheet of paper. I then flipped it around and spent the next half hour sketching my father - the way he was hunching his back, getting close to the documents since he still refused to get glasses; the way he propped up his head in his hand.
He looked tired. He would never admit it, but he was still more engaged with everything than he actually had to be - he wanted to give as much support as possible, and that was slowly but surely burning him out.

"Dad?" I walked up to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. "Maybe you should call it a day and just relax a little, don't you think?"
He looked up at me for a second, then down at the documents, then back at me. "Maybe you're right, Maddie."

I gave him a smile, turned off the lamp on his desk and shuffled over to the living room, where I stood in front of the big bookshelf for a while. My father dropped down onto the couch and turned on the TV, stretching out his legs and I heard a few bones crack slightly.
Although I wasn't really in the mood for family time right now I hoped I'd get at least some answers from him, so I went to the kitchen and made some coffee for the both of us. As I returned to the living room however, my sister had sat down on the couch as well and the two were looking at me intently.

"Maddie…," my dad began and I sighed, sitting down in one of the armchairs, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
"Why, Dad? Why lie?" I asked and Mia looked at the ground.

"Trust me, we only wanted the best for you. We wanted you to have the possibility to just come back and have nobody treat you any differently." - "Oh so thinking that I was abroad for two years is gonna make people just pick up where we left off?" - "Please, just try to understand. Just saying that you were sick would raise way too many rumours, you know how this town works. And the trace it would have left on your records -- irreversible. It could have ruined your future, Maddie."

I took a sip of my coffee, staring at my father. Actually this shouldn't be as big of a deal than it was to me, but I had found that lying was one of the core causes of my issues. I had been raised in this world of masquerades that I didn't even get a chance to figure out who I really was. I still wasn't sure if I knew now.

"I'm gonna start taking off the wallpapers in my room," I mumbled and got up to leave.

"We were going to have somebody come over and-" - "I'm going to do it." I interrupted my sister and hurried upstairs.

Why did I think coming back would make things okay? Of course a lot of things would come rushing back, of course everything else wouldn't have changed as much just because I did. This was still the same house, with the same people and the same secrets.

Since my speakers were still standing around in a corner I connected my new phone to them and put on some music, as I started to tear the wallpaper off.

×

My parents still had somebody come over the next day to finish what I'd started, and to take out the carpet in my room. Apparently the same people would be coming back once the wooden floorboards that I had ordered arrived to set everything else up.

I spent most of my time in the patio in our backyard, drawing or reading, the cat curling up in my lap. It came as a surprise that she still seemed to remember me - after being gone for two years I'd have expected her to just discard me from her memory.

The next few days there were people just in and out of my room the entire time, and I ended up rearranging the entire furniture by myself, probably ruining a bit of the flooring in the process already. But I didn't want it to look clean or perfect -- I wanted it to look like I had been living in here for more than just the past week.

I also finished setting up my new phone, along with a few recovered contacts -- I couldn't get back into my social media accounts however, so I decided to look more into that as soon as I got my laptop.

The next day, a Friday, I drove into town to pick it up and decided to have lunch at the Two Whales while trying to get back into the accounts. It wouldn't surprise me if they'd been deactivated or timed out or whatever it was called.
I ordered a chocolate milkshake, some fries and a cheeseburger after sitting down in one of the booths at the far back, close to the jukebox. I had all my social network accounts (which were really only instagram and facebook) send an email to recover my login information and leaned back, observing my surroundings for a bit. The sun was shining outside and it was getting warmer, considering it was late June.
The jukebox was playing Blue Suede Shoes, one of the truckers was tapping his feet along to the music, and the police officer next to him ordered a refill of his coffee.

When Joyce approached me I set my laptop to the side and gave her a smile as she placed my order on the table. "Thank you," I said and she smiled as well, making her way over to the back again.

The first email had arrived and I entered the newly assigned password, taking a sip of my milkshake. I almost spit it out when I saw that there were photos posted -- photos from England. Barely any with me in them, none to be exact, but there had been pictures uploaded over the course of the last two years.
There were also comments from friends and apparently I had replied to them…
"Mia what the fuck?!" I muttered and scrolled further.

"Language, Mads!" somebody said and I looked up.

"Victoria?"

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