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Harry

My hoodie is covering my beanie on my head when I make my way down the street, it's almost 2am and I'm just wandering the streets of London. There isn't many people out, not that I expected it to be because it's a Monday night.

The leafs are dancing around my feet together with the cold autumn wind, the weather has really turned for the colder these last couple of days. Now it really feels like summer is over and it won't be any more turns for the warmer in the weather this year.

I watch as some colourful leafs are flowing down from the trees and on their way down to the ground they're moving like dancers. They remind me of the ballet I used to go to with my mother when I was younger, the way they move around synchronised with the wind... just like the dancers would move around on the stage in perfect movements to the music.

I sometimes miss those days when everything was easy and nothing worried me, when I could walk wherever I wanted without having to worry about who sees me. When I could meet people and actually get to know them before I even had to introduce them to my mom and sister... now I can't even say hi to anyone without the whole fucking world knowing.

I take a deep breath of the autumn air, somehow the air always seems to smell a lot better in autumn, the way that it smells like leafs and rain.

I like the calmness that it brings to my body when I close my eyes... so there I am just standing in the middle of the heart of London and closing my eyes while holding my head to up to the sky... only to open my eyes and see the stars.

It's not that I haven't seen stars before, it's just that often the air isn't clear enough here to actually being able to see over the cloud of toxic fumes from the cars.

A cold wind grabs a hold of my curls that's sticking out under my beanie and making them dance with it.

A small smile is visible on my face because of how free I feel... I want to feel like this all the time... I feel like this all the time when I'm with Louis.

I would never admit it out loud, I barley admit it to myself inside of my head... but it's the truth no matter what I might tell myself.

I don't know if it's my tired state of mind or the sudden feeling of freedom but I go against everything I believe in and pick up my phone to call Louis.

"Harry?" He doesn't sound like I woke him, which I'm happy for because then I would feel bad.

"Where are you right now?" I ask, wow no hello? What is up with me being so blunt?

"At my apartment" He says like it's the most obvious thing in the world, I almost feel insecure about calling him until he lets out a small laugh.

"Where are you Love?" He continues and I can almost hear through the phone that he is smiling.... Love... he called me Love.

"Forget it I found you on the snapchat map because you're the worse at explaining" He says when I try to tell him my position without actually knowing myself exactly where I am.

"I'm 5 minutes away with the subway, stay where you are... I meet you there." He says and a smile grows on my face. I know that everything inside of me is screaming that he owes me because of the missed phone call... the one he missed making.

I sit down on a bench and just look at the few taxis moving down the streets.

"Hi" I suddenly hear from behind me and smile when I turn my head around to see Louis there in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

"You look comfy" I say and moves to the side on the bench so he can sit beside him.

"It's almost 2am, no matter how much I want to impress you this is all I my body wants to wear this time around." He says and sits down beside me, he is so close to me that I can hear his heavy breathing... I wonder if he run here from the subway, because the closes one is at least 5 minutes' walk from here.

"So you want to impress me" I say and push my shoulder a little against him in a joking manner.

"Of course I want." He says and I'm not sure if the pink colour on his cheeks is because of the cold temper or if he actually is blushing.

We don't say much, we just sit there in silence looking out in the dark night that is light up by the street lights.

"You didn't call." I say and I can almost feel the lump in my throat when I say it, I don't want to admit the affect that it actually has on me that he didn't.

"No I didn't..." He says and sound guilty, he doesn't look at me... his eyes are looking out in to the night at all leafs flowing around.

"Why didn't you?" I'm scared of the answer... I'm scared because even if I want to say that it doesn't matter to me what he thinks it does... I don't want to feel this attached to someone I don't even know that much.

"Because... I got scared..." He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I'm not used to being followed everywhere I go, I don't know how to handle questions that isn't about me or my snowboarding.... I defiantly don't know how to handle questions about us when I don't even know the answer myself." He says and moves his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault that the world is fucked up... You said it yourself, your job never stops.... I'm not sure that I fit in to that world." He says and stands up from the bench.

For a split second I'm scared he will leave, but then he puts out his hand for me.

"Walk with me?" 

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