Bubble Wrap

chapter seven

MAGGIE WENT BACK to her desk and Zane went home shortly after we finished eating, leaving me alone to do my favorite part of my job. The books and their nearly finished states. Pages and pages of almost complete manuscripts, just waiting for their turn to be printed, bound and placed on a shelf ready for the world's consumption.

And I get to be a small part of that process. The first to witness characters' flaws, their problems, and their journeys. I get to help their creators create something complete. I help them come alive to become someone's favorite character. Someone's favorite book. Someone's safe place. Someone's best friend.

Pain and misery fill my soul in his absence. I've tried to move on from him. To act like I haven't been living in a constant cycle of wondering when he'll be back. I want to forget he ever existed. That he ever had a place in my heart, but I can't.

My life has been about him, and only him, for so long that when he left, nothing else mattered. Nothing else will matter because I'm addicted. No matter how bad he is for me. I can't kick the habit of wanting him.

I want him.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I want it all.

I'm addicted to the sound of his voice. I'm addicted to waiting for him to come back to me. He's all I can hope for. That one day, he'll realize what a mistake it was to leave and he'll come back. And I'm afraid I won't ever be able to let go of that hope.

That I'll wait for him forever. I'll wait with my arms wide open, hoping he'll come back to me and everything else won't matter. It won't have mattered that he colored outside the lines, because he'll be in my arms again.

A small knock on the door breaks me from my trance, and Maggie opens it a second later. "Hey Em," she says, smiling weakly as she holds the doorknob with a loose grip. "You almost ready to go?"

"You go ahead," I say, resting my chin in the palm of my hand as I look at her. "I'm going to stay for a little while longer," I explain and see her lips part, ready to argue with me. "And before you say anything, I'm not overworking myself. I was out of it all morning and didn't get to finish this."

"You sure?"

I nod. "Yes."

"You're avoiding Luke, aren't you?" she asks, stepping into my office as she walks over.

"No, I'm working," I tell her, leaning back in my chair. "Luke's... another problem that I'll deal with when I see him."

She sighs and I know she wants to say something, but whatever it is, she holds her tongue and wraps her arms around me from behind. "Okay, I love you," she says. "Text me when you get home so I know you're safe."

"I love you, too," I say and squeeze her hand. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"10:00am sharp." She nods in agreement, giving me one last squeeze before she leaves.

My eyes move back to the pages in front of me, ready to engross myself in the world of a forbidden love and try my hardest not to let Luke creep back into my thoughts. I want what I told Maggie to be true, for work to be the reason I'm staying, but I can't hide the truth from myself. I'm hoping the longer I stay here, the less likely I'll be to see him when I finally get home.

And I know how stupid my logic is, because even if I don't see him, I'll hear him or he'll hear me when I get home. Our apartments are basically shoeboxes, and the small amount of space between our doors doesn't leave much room for discretion. Even if I could get in and out of my apartment without him hearing me, I'm kidding myself if I think I won't ever run into him in the hall ever again. We're neighbors and that's not going to change.