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Rose

Jacob left about an hour ago after packing up most of his stuff. It's been three hours since I walked in and found out what kind of guy he really is.
The kind of person I never expected him to be, he blamed the alcohol. I also know that alcohol can make you do and say stupid things. Bringing your ex-girlfriend home to have sex isn't just the alcohol, he wanted to do it, no matter if he was super drunk or completely sober, he would have done it or wanted to at least. I don't know where he's going, I honestly don't care anymore. All I care about is sorting out what I'm going to do from here. What I'm going to do about Luca.

I called Darcy as soon as he left, telling her everything. She's beyond pissed off but she's also happy. Happy that I can contact Luca and feel no shame, it's like this was meant to happen. I was meant to see Luca and everything would fall into place from here. How cliché.

She sends me his Facebook Link within seconds of hanging up the phone wishing me good luck. I open up his page shocked to see the name Luca Jay. His middle name.
How did I never think to look for that? I go through his page for a few minutes, posts he's been tagged in over the last couple of years. Group pictures with new friends, work colleagues? Drunken bar nights. He looks so happy, like he's known them all his life. Like he never left the girl he supposedly loved to start a new life with them. I close my eyes trying not to think about it, why do I let my brain do this? Why can't I just stop overthinking?

He still wants me, he's always wanted me. Please still want me Luca, Please.

He doesn't answer my first call, he doesn't answer the second. I hang up before leaving a voice message. Maybe he's just not active on Facebook right now? Or his phones not connected to Internet at the moment? I type out a message, then another message, not sure how I can word it. I need to tell him that I regret how I left him, that I love him and always have and I want to be with him.

My biggest fear right now, is that I messed up so bad at the airport that he's ignoring me, he doesn't want me anymore, or he even hates me. So, I type out a message, simple and to the point.

Facebook Message [To: Luca Jay]: Call me when you can, I am so sorry I messed up. I love you and I always will x

The wait to hear back from him is unbearable, I have unpacked and finished most of my laundry including washing my bedding and I even had a long relaxing shower. Its three in the afternoon at this point and my body is dead, I need to sleep, at least for a couple of hours. Jetlag is a bitch and I can hardly keep my eyes open as I wrap myself in my fresh duvet, Simon by my side.

My phone on loud with the vibrate on, so when he calls, I will hear it. That's if he even calls me, will he call me? He has to call me, right? I need him to know that I want to be with him, I want every bit of him. He has to call me back.

If we did decide to work this out between us, what would we do? How could we? I'm here and he lives in New York. Its worlds apart, I don't know if I could leave this place. My home, my family, but could I do it for Luca? Could I move for him? Yes!

The doorbell rings throughout the house, my body reacting slowly as it rings again and again. Sitting up I notice I have been asleep for a while now, the sky outside is black and the air is cold. I check the time on my phone, it's nearly eight. The doorbell keeps on ringing, I try to ignore it.

Jacobs probably back to find more things to take with him. Looking at my phone hoping I see a message from him, but I only have a message from Darcy asking if I've heard from him yet. I reply with a quick 'no' before climbing out of my bed and walking out of my bedroom and down the hallway.

Simons meows get louder with each step I take down the stairs towards the deafening doorbell. I swear if Jacobs back I might go mental, I took his keys and that was that. The door begins to shake against powerful fists as I slowly approach, I hope if I stay quiet, he will just go away. I look down at my phone as it vibrates in my hand.

Text Message [From: Darcy] Let me know when you hear from him x

I don't reply as the knocking continues, getting louder, faster and more desperate. I don't even care who it is anymore, I reach for the lock turning it quickly and slipping the chain off. Swinging the door open quickly, my blood rising. But I stop yelling, my eyes land on a single red rose held delicately by a tattooed hand.

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