xxxi| Colloquium

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"Lost and insecure."

triginta unus

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triginta unus.

colloquium

The exchange of thoughts and feelings by means of speech.

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I WATCHED THE SKY DARKEN; THE SOFT BLUE OF THE SKY STARTED TO STAIN, DISSOLVING INTO AN AURA OF PURPLE AND BLACK.

Sitting on my bed, I contemplated the events of my summer. I imagined it to be something different. I was always told that the summer between sixth form and university was supposed to be the best summer of my life; how wrong they were. Despite my unconditional offers, the future remained as bleak and unpredictable than it ever was. Without Ms Leva at my side to guide me through my anxiety and confusion, without Chase's constant kind words and simple touch, I felt more alone than ever.

It didn't help that my mum was constantly at work and so I was just always alone.

It was late in the evening when my doorbell rang, the loud, resonating, sound snapping me out of my daze. I was used to doing my own thing over this summer, getting some applications to internships, and learning some songs on the piano. I wasn't expecting anyone to come to the house.

When I opened the door, I saw a girl who stood silently at the doorway.

"Hi," she breathed, except I was the one who stood in complete shock and breathlessness. Scarlet Montgomery. She stood completely still, radiating complete confidence and beauty. Her gorgeously curly hair was placed in a bun, as she looked entirely put together.

"Hi," was all I managed to respond with. In comparison to Scarlet, I looked, and probably was, much less put together. My hair fell limply down my shoulders and I was just wearing a robe tightly wrapped around my waist.

"Can I come in?" She was the first to break the silence, stopping me from staring at her in confusion as she motioned towards the inside of my house.

"O-oh, of course," I stuttered in complete stupidity, opening the door more than halfway and allowing her to step inside. Wordlessly, I directed her towards the living room, allowing her to take a seat before I took a seat next to her, not really knowing what to say or do.

"I'm sorry," she spilled all at once, her right nervously fidgeting with her left. It was after this that I actually looked at her properly, staring at her as I took in how guilty and stressed she appeared.

I cleared my throat, feeling entirely awkward in the position I was in. I didn't think I'd ever have the, usually put together, Scarlet Montgomery in front of me, nervous and fidgeting. "Why are you apologising?" I asked her finally, when I was able to string my words together.

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