Fast As A Bullet {Maze Runner}

t w e n t y t w o

   

"You're lucky you found us at all."

•••

FOR SIX MONTHS, Leanne had been without her friends. Without Newt's laughter, Minho's sarcasm, Frypan's dramatics. Without Juno rolling her eyes at Minho's pathetic attempts to flirt with her. Without Thomas. But most of all, she felt like she had lost herself. WICKED's cruel tests had only served as a reminder that now, she was alone. As they stripped her bare of her fiery personality and left her raw, a shell of her old self, she had never felt more alone. Even with Aris and Sonya somewhere around the corner to offer their silent support, she felt suppressed.

There were many things that Leanne recognized now, but none of them should have held any familiarity to her; coldness of metal against her skin, the restraints that would keep her tied to the bed, the tears that would no longer fall anymore. The worst was the screams. The screams had become familiar to her, so much so that she recognized people by them. It shouldn't have been that way. She shouldn't have recognized there kids by their screams, or the bruises that littered their bodies or the fear that was painfully visible in their eyes. Leanne wanted it to stop. She wanted the suffering to stop, not only for herself but for these kids. She didn't care that it was all for a cure; if it had taken this long then maybe there wasn't one to be found.

It was too late for Leanne to escape and she knew that. A large part of her hoped that maybe her friends who escaped WICKED weren't trying to get them back. Maybe hope wasn't a good word though, for Leanne held no more hope. She didn't hope for better, or pray that they would someday escape. She had to be realistic; this was her life now. This was her life and it wouldn't change unless WICKED found their cure. Maybe, just maybe, then she could hope. But right now, she couldn't.

However, she knew her friends. She knew Thomas, and she knew he wouldn't give up. She knew Newt and Frypan would stick with him, and she knew that Juno would if Newt was doing so. Because being with WICKED, she had become observant. She had begun to notice the little details, and looking back on things there was so much stuff she missed. She hadn't realized how close Newt and June had grown quickly, or how much of a leader Thomas really was. She hadn't realized how much she would miss them either, because God, it was painful to be away.

However the time away gave her time to think —and at times overthink— about her feelings, and herself in general. But mostly her feelings, especially towards a certain brown haired boy. Like how the way his hands would graze the bare skin on her arms made her body heat up, or the way his eyes would roam her body for any injuries made her stomach flutter.

Leanne knew she had felt something for the boy when he arrived in the Glade. He was different from them, that much was easy to tell. However, she had pushed those feelings off. She couldn't have liked a boy she barely knew, could she? She used to blame it on the fact that she recognized him. He was familiar and so she felt drawn. But now, there was no way to blame her feelings on Thomas' familiarity. She had even tried to blame them on the fact that there weren't many boys to choose from — the Gladers had mostly all been like her brothers. Maybe she felt for Thomas because she thought no one else would come along. But again, those thoughts were quickly shut down. They were stopped because deep down, she knew. She knew that what she felt for him was real. She could remember the romance movies she and Teresa used to watch on Friday nights, the ones the two used to fawn over in hopes of someday having a love like that. A stupid love, where they could run through the fields in the morning and watch the stars at night. A love that would conquer all and never flicker. One that would have her feeling full and never make her doubt herself. But she was doubting herself. Not her feelings for him, but maybe her sanity. Because why —how— could someone fall in love when the world around them was crumbling. She felt so selfish, loving Thomas, but with him it felt so right. That's how she knew that she found that love, but hers was much more destructive.