bonne anniversaire

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It was November of 2015. I had gotten home after doing stuff with my family all day, ready to isolate myself in my bedroom for the rest of the night. I pulled out the laptop I had gotten for my 11th birthday, just 5 months before, checking Facebook, among other sites. My phone played music from YouTube, when a burst of inspiration hit me. The song that was playing was Dollhouse, a song by Melanie Martinez. The video itself, was one of those AMV's for creepypasta My friend had introduced me to her music two months prior. I started concocting this story, a young girl with an uncaring family. But the story wasn't complete there. It didn't fit 100%. I thought hard about what could finish this story plot. The answer was within my photo gallery. I had recently become obsessed with creepypasta. I filled in the blanks within this story to create what I knew as the beginning of Dollhouse. The video become something I put in every chapter. 

At the start, I was pushing out brand new chapters every few days or every week. It began getting more views, I remember the day it hit 100 views. I cried. Nothing I've written had gotten that popular. I was balancing school, music, family, and Dollhouse all in one hand. It was hard, of Course. But hearing the praises of people who took time to read my work made me happy. It was the validation I had always wanted. Things only got rougher from there. I struggled, and still do, with awful depression and anxiety. December 2016, Dollhouse hit 1,000 views. 

Updates became slower as I left 6th grade and started 7th. In February of 2017, I took a 4 month hiatus. I felt awful. People understand and told me to take time for myself, but it was hard to stop writing for such a long time. In June 2017, I came back with a new chapter. The story of Brooklynn and her fictional scary story friends remained ever popular while I was gone. People drew fan art of Brooklynn. They were invested in her story. They stuck around until I posted again. 

As November 2017 came around, I started rushing to finish Dollhouse. By this time, I was in 8th grade. It had been 2 years since I had started it, I had turned 13 a few months before. I had out grown creepypasta, and it was time to put Brooklynn's story to a close. I had always known how I wanted the book to end, but it didn't end exactly how I pictured it in my mind. The book felt like more of a chore to me, and it was then that I realized that it was time to end it. On December 5th, I ended Dollhouse, after 2 years of work. Everything had lead up to that. The cheesy ending didn't really fit with the story, but it was touching. 

Of course, there were loose ends I never wrapped up. Things like the speculation of BEN being Brooklynn's father, the overall character development. Stuff like that, I regret not addressing. I could have done it with the ending of the book. 

However, somethings are better left unopened. 

Happy 3rd birthday Dollhouse! 

- Allison 

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