Queen of Asgard (NaNoWriMo2018, Completed!)

5: Loki

We all went to bed early that night, but in my childhood room I found no comfort and sleep only came when I cried myself to sleep. When morning came, I was not able to get up out of bed and go downstairs. I couldn't face my mother, nor my uncle. Knowing I was with Yuki in their last moments, they wanted answers and I couldn't give them. They'd never believe the truth and I couldn't bring myself to lie to them.

And so I stayed in my room, staring blankly at the ceiling and going from feeling numb with disbelief, and then I'd burn with rage and helplessness, knowing that despite everything I knew about the law and how to catch criminals that I could never bring the culprit to justice. And then, after the numbness and fire, there was grief. It was heavy, sent an ache into my bones and made it hard to breathe.That was when I cried again, muffling the noise with my pillow as I fought against the tide of pain and loss and failed miserably. It dragged me down like a riptide and eventually, I gave up the fight, falling into a shallow sleep for a few minutes to an hour. They never lasted long, the nightmares always came. Those red eyes plagued me, mocking me and my fragile, human nature. And worse than those eyes were Yuki's. Her raspy voice, struggling to breath, blood soaked and reaching for me.

When I saw the monster I woke up gasping for air or screaming, when I saw Yuki I woke up sobbing. I knew which one was worse. Around noon, I the exhaustion hit again and my eyes began to shut and as I drifted off, I wondered which horror awaited me this time.

***

The room around me grand; a penthouse apartment with lush, white carpet under my bare feet and modern, sleek black leather furniture. It looked like it belonged in a furniture catalog. The whole west wall was a giant window pane, looking out onto the city skyline. I couldn't tell which it was, but the glittering lights and colors were certainly beautiful. Yuki would've loved this, I thought, biting my lip as more tears washed down my face.

"Like it?" A male voice asked and I turned, frowning at the source. A tall, thin white man with tousled brown curls and sharp cheekbones stood behind me, leaning at the black marble fireplace.

I wiped at my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was explain my tears to a perfect stranger. Even in my dreams. The thought stopped me short, I was dreaming. I was aware of the fact that I was dreaming. I knew there was a term for it, but I didn't know it. But even if I didn't know the word, I knew what this entailed; I could control my dream. I shut my eyes, knowing exactly what I wanted. I wanted to talk to Yuki. To have her hug me again and tell her how sorry I was, tell her how much I loved her. But when I opened my eyes, the luxury apartment hadn't been replaced with my crappy one and Yuki was nowhere to be seen.

"Sorry love," the man said again, two drinks in crystal tumblers. The amber color and strong scent told me it was whisky. "This is my dream, sit down?"

"No it's not," I corrected, fingers closing automatically around the drink. "You're just a figment of my imagination."

The man smiled. The gesture made his cheekbones even sharper. "You're wrong," he informed me. "But you'll realize that once you wake up, trust me."

Since I had no control over my dream, I decided to go with it. This was strange, but at least I wasn't seeing Yuki die again or feeling eyes of her killer mock me. Anything was better than those options. "Fine," I said, sitting on the soft leather seat. "Talk." I took a sip of the drink, the burn of cinnamon and ice making me shiver.

The man sat down in the spindly legged chair opposite me, stretching out his long legs. "First thing's first, the name's Loki. And of course, you're Suzume. I know quite a bit about you and I'll say first that I'm sorry about your cousin. It wasn't right what happened to her."