Jungkook: The Friendly Ghost

35. Only Then

Now that it is happening, I realize I never actually thought about kissing Jungkook.

How ironic is that? He's an attractive guy – very attractive guy. A guy who was acting like his life's mission was to be close to me. A guy I fell for somewhere along the way. A guy whose lips I have noticed before. How is it possible that I have never actually thought about kissing them?

And in a way, I'm glad I didn't because holy moly, there's no way I could have imagined this.

They're soft. So, sinfully, illegally soft. As if I am kissing a freshly washed piece of fabric washed with the sweetest and most luxurious fabric softener, but better. Soft, yet if I can focus enough, I can feel the creases on them as they move over mine.

Slow, careful movements, as if he doesn't want to scare me away, as if I am going to break, as if I will have a change of heart and move away. Then, as seconds pass, a bit surer of themselves, feeling no immediate rejection. Then, as my need for air takes over me, even more sinful then before, as his tongue softly brushes against my bottom lip.

This is when I backtrack.

I gasp for air, moving away but not daring to move further than just an inch apart, pushing my forehead onto his.

"You don't get to do that."

"Do what?" he's as breathless as I am.

"That."

"What?"

"Kiss me like that and not expect me to demand from you to kiss my like that every fucking day for the rest of our lives."

"It's a good thing I only have seven days – my lips won't be too tired."

"I hate you."

"I don't think you do."

"Fuck, you're right," I admit.

"If it makes you feel any better, you don't know how long I've been dying to do that," he sighs. "Wait! No! Fuck! I wasn't going to make a joke! It slipped out, I'm-"

This time, it's my turn to shut him up and for the first time in forever, Jungkook follows my lead without complaining along the way.

"Okay,' he pulls away. "I get it now. I get it. You can't kiss me like that."

"I can and I damn well will," I launch myself, but he stops me again.

"JJ, wait," he sighs. "I want to clear the air first. We can't use this as a way to deny the inevitable. We have very little time left and fucking hell, I want to spend every last second I have kissing you. But I need you to know some things first."

"Jungkook, please-"

"Just listen," he squeezes my hand and with a sigh, I get ready to listen to something that will probably end up being heartbreaking for me. How much more can a girl take in a single day? "This isn't... my last hurrah. This isn't me saying goodbye to the cruel world. This isn't me trying to live out my remaining days on a high. You're not the only one that fell. I want you, Jihyun. Not just now. I want you for good but... I'll take what I can get."

"Kook, don't say it like that, please-"

"Seven days. Seven fucking days," he tells me, looking me directly in the eye. "Not enough, not nearly enough, not when we have wasted so much time but JJ, please... please, I beg of you. No more rescue missions. No more fortune tellers, no more trips to the hospital. Please. I don't want to waste my time on that. I only get seven days with you and fuck, it won't be enough, it won't be enough in any shape or form but I need to spend every single second of those seven days with you. Please. Do it for me."