Chapter Forty Four

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Ashton and I haven't talked since Monday morning. It's been almost a full week of us not even speaking to each other. It's weird to think how we would be with each other every single day of every single week just a few months ago, but now it's easy to see that everything is different. We haven't spoken to each other, texted each other, or hung out since last week when he was sick. I know I'm supposed to be tutoring him about 3 times a week (that's the whole reason why we even met in the first place), but that hasn't happened in a while either.

Thinking back to Monday morning really pisses me off, quite frankly. I can remember it perfectly, it only being about 4 days ago. I remember being terrified of coming to school to face him, because of everything that went down the days before that. After me waking up next to some stranger after doing hell knows what, and after me breaking down with the reality that I infact cheated on my boyfriend, I knew going into school at the beginning of this week was going to be tough.

And, of course, I was right. Just seeing Ashton there so innocent and so oblivious was sickening to me, because I knew everything that he didn't. My guilt was terrible the whole morning, with the reality that I screwed up, but Ashton didn't have a single clue about it. He just looked happy to see me, but I was a nervous wreck in the process of it all. The whole week I've been avoiding him for obvious reasons, and he must've been avoiding me because he didn't know what the hell was going on.

Luke definitely did, though. Even though Luke and I haven't been on good terms in an extremely long time, he's still been nice to me either way. But when I had sat down next to Ashton that bench, I remember how awkward it instantly felt to be around him. I could just feel the hatred emenating from where Luke sat just a few feet away from me, and the way he had those angry and icey blue eyes only shook me up more. I could tell he knew everything, and my only guess was that Natalie had told him what happened. And, if she was to tell Luke, she probably told Calum, her boyfriend, and Michael. I've also been avoiding Michael as well, for extremely obvious reasons. I feel like if I was to be even within a 5-foot radius from the guy, he would surely rip my head off. I can tell that even though they're not friends anymore, Ashton and Michael still care about each other. And, knowing Michael, he wouldn't hesitate to beat me to a pulp if he knows what I've done.

It was now Friday night, but for the first time in a while I didn't feel like going out. I didn't feel like myself for some reason, so when Leila offered a ride to some party in a different suburb, I passed on it. I just wanted to chill tonight, because after what happened last weekend I don't want to be stupid again and recieve evenmore guilt. I know I shouldn't have cheated on Ashton, but there's no way I can change what happened in the past. And, there's also no way I'm going to tell him, either. If I was to end up being pregnant I'll tell him, but for right now I'm just going to keep it low key. I think everyone else will too, because they either don't want to sadden Ashton or they want me to tell him. I hope I'll find the guts to do that eventually.

When the time was finally almost midnight, I figured that was a good time to go to bed. Everyone in my still distant family was asleep, and I was growing pretty tired myself. This week has been sucky, and I just wanted to get some sleep.

I got into bed, checking my phone for any text messages. I had a few from Leila that looked like a bunch of drunk texts, so I chose to ignore them even though they made me laugh. I don't want to bug them; they're probably having fun. A fun that I love and crave all the time, but I'm just not feeling it tonight. I'm not in my zone like I usually am. Hopefully I will be by tomorrow.

There wasn't a text from anyone else, so I finally settled in and shut my eyes. Thankfully, I ended up falling asleep rather quickly...

-

My eyes shot open later on, only to reveal more darkness infront of me. I blinked my eyes out a few times, confused on why it wasn't morning and why it was still pitch dark out. Literally, it was pitch black without a single sign of light or life around me. Usually, my room is a little illuminated each night by my alarm clock, but this time I saw none. Nothing; not an ounce of light or an ounce of thought as to why this darkness felt different. This particular darkness felt very strange...nothing like what I'm used to in my bedroom. I realized myself to be sitting up right, so I felt around me, hoping to the feel the soft and silky bed sheets below me. The funny thing was, my finger tips grazed long the complete opposite of what I was expecting. Instead of the familiarity of my own bed, I felt the rough texture of a dirty ground below me, with my back up against a cold metal wall. Everything else around me, was nothing. It was dead silent.

Shattered (Continuation of: The Chase) ▹ Ashton IrwinWhere stories live. Discover now