Cold Blooded

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Blake

"You like that don't you?" I felt his heavy breath on my neck.

I tried to open my mouth and scream ,but I couldn't function to open my mouth. My body felt heavy and limp. I struggled to open my eyelids. Why am I so sleepy? Why does it feel like I'm floating? I willed my eyes to open and I immediately wished I kept them closed. I was immediately reminded where I was and what was happening to me. The growing throbbing pain from each shove tremors through my body.

"Stooooooooop!", I screamed. I shot up straight in the bed shaking from the dream I just had. It felt so real like I could feel them inside me again. I turned to look for Dave so he could hold me. I felt on the side of me and it was empty.

Where in the world is Dave? I looked around and felt for my phone. I couldn't see a thing. I jumped up and felt around looking for my phone. I shook my head realizing that Dave probably has it. Uneasiness settled over me and sadness hit me like speeding train. The depression and anxiety I said goodbye to long ago was greeting my mind a cold hello. All the baggage I dropped off after the rape was back. An extremely sensitive devastating part of my life was being smeared all over the news like some cheap tabloid gossip by a fake nigga. Not only that ,but the story being told was complete lie. Then on top of that the news was broadcasted by a broad who claimed to love me and be my friend. How could she ? She didn't know all the details about what really happened but she knew e-freaking-nough. As much as I wanted to find her and fire her up I don't even have the energy. People were blowing my phone up and I refused to talk to any of them. Dave handled the calls for me and let me know what everyone was saying. I was glad he was here with me. He gave me as much comfort as I could possibly feel in this situation. I wish he was here now.

I huffed and forced myself out of the bed. I extended my hands out and felt around for the light switch. I flicked it on and walked to the bathroom. Scared to look in the mirror I hesitated to tilt my head up. Slowly my eyes crept up to a haunting reflection. My eyes looked hollow and dark with bags hanging under them. My hair was like a bird's nest tousled around the frame of my face. I can't believe that Dave saw me looking like a zombie and stuck around. Not wanting to feel anymore bad for myself I turned from the mirror and turned the shower on. I stripped off my clothes and stepped in. The hot water stung against my skin and I closed my eyes embracing the soothing burn. I soaped up my loofa and scrubbed. I scrubbed so hard til my skin felt raw as if to wash away the dirt I could feel on me from the dream. I backed against the shower wall and slid down. I was sitting on the floor with the water still running. I was back to the me that I never thought I'd see again. The me that just tried to take her life, the me that was too scared to walk past a group of men, the me that refused to open up to anyone. After sitting there for awhile I turned the water up and got out. I threw my hair in a bun and brushed my teeth, lotion up , and dried off. I walked to my closet and threw on a hoodie and some jeans. I grabbed my airmax and put them on. I grabbed my extra key seeing that Dave took mine and walked out locking up behind me. I just needed some fresh air. I stepped on the elevator and pressed the lobby button. I rode down and stepped off into the lobby.

"MAN LET ME UP TO SEE MY WOMAN!"

"Let you up?! Didn't I tell your stupid tail that you're not the list of people who are not allowed in this building. You better get away before I call security."

"Mannnnn forget all that I'm going away."

"Aww hell nah! SECURITY! SECURITY!"

I rounded the corner to see Chris standing there arguing with Charnee at the front desk. Not needing anymore drama I walked over.

"Calm down it's ok boo. Don't call security. I'll see him out", I assured Charnee.

"You sure ?", Charnee asked raising a brow at me.

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