Kissing Away Insecurities | ✓

Chapter 43 - Stubborn Hearts

Shivaay had been working tirelessly. It was already lunch time and he didn't have an appetite. Time and again his thoughts kept going back to her letter. He now knew how vulnerable she was in his absence. She depended on him. Very much. That scared him. It shouldn't be that way. She shouldn't dependent on him. What if something happened to him? Nothing was happening to him, but life was unpredictable. She'd never be able to live. No! That thought was worrying. 

He wondered if talking about this would irk her. It perhaps would. Would she understand? She'd percase feel he was saying so to cover up for his fault or planning to go away again. No. Maybe she wouldn't think that way. But what if she did take it that way? So what? As long as his point was conveyed. But no point conveying his point in away that upset her.

* * *

She settled in the car, asking the driver to turn the radio on. She had the perfect plan. Her idiot was a big idiot. She couldn't see him like she saw him yesterday. So under confident, so unsure, so hopeless. Stupid did not know how crazily he loved her. She wasn't far, she'd make him realise that the way he loved her no one could ever.

Her thoughts were broken by the commentary of the radio jockey. 

If anyone has ever lived away from their loved ones, they would know that the saddest part of the day is when you get back to your rented place after a day's work and there's no one there waiting for you. You don't feel like eating anything alone. You don't want to trouble your loved ones with the unnecessary and unexciting details of your life. You don't want them to know you are not happy. So you start to burden yourself with work so that you can get done with everything at the earliest and there remains no time and energy to think about anything else.

But there is more,

The family complains that you don't talk much over phone. Truth is there's nothing to talk. Life is reduced to a schedule and we are always running from one thing to another. 

The next song is dedicated to such people in our lives who work hard to establish a beautiful life for us. Before that a small piece of advice to such people, "Remember life is short, so if you've got to say something, got to apologize, got to tell someone you love them, do it NOW! And to those who have such selflessly loving people in life give them that time and tell them their efforts are appreciated. 

Anika couldn't move after she heard that. Their was just one name in her head. Shivaay. She was so stupid to not think of how he lived. How he felt. How he survived. He was saying that and had stopped before even starting. God what a selfish demanding woman had she been. She had been craving for attention despite having the family's abundant, her cousins her friends. What about him? All alone in an alien country!

How did he spend his free time ? How did he spend his Sundays? What did he eat? Did he cook every meal of the day? He managed everything on his own, how? 

Anika closed her eyes in despair. She was one useless wife. She was so busy in her own little misery she forgot that he had been through the same situation like her. But he didn't fuss over it like her. In fact all that mattered to him was now they were together. Every time she was at the top of his list, before him.

She quickly walked into his office. The staff greeted her and she was told where he was. The staff didn't seem to know who she was. She never really came down often to the hotel or this office.