Finding myself

Chapter 42

I twist and turn on the floor which is my new bed. This is not going well.

I can't help but remember what Nova said about strength. Does that mean I am weak?

This is so frustrating.

Why are you letting her get to you?

I can hear Zian asking.

I DON'T KNOW.

I shout at her in my mind.

She leaves me alone after that. I have been so frustrated these days. Even Lexi doesn't approach me when I am alone.

I had programmed her to not respond when I am moody. Which nowadays, I always am. The indecision is killing me.

My line of thoughts is interrupted by a whimper- Zarine's whimper.

I darkly note that he is still lying on the bed despite my threats. That kid might be too cheeky for his own good. He has a way with me. I see myself give in more and more when it comes to him. And it's not even consciously.

He whimpers again. Is he awake?

I shut my eyes the moment I see him throw the sheets and getting up. I can hear his little feet thumping on the hardwood floor as he makes his way to the bathroom.

I can hear him sniff as he gets the water running. Is he crying? I can feel Zian grow restless in me at the thought.

I have to summon up a lot of strength to prevent her from going after him. I lay waiting for him. I hear the sniff again. He is definitely crying. What do I do? I am definitely not good with such things. Maybe if I were like the chipmunk, I could help him.

At the moment, I am clueless as to dealing with him.

I really need to help him though. I need to find out what his past is. I really can't get around it. Because his sadness is for some reason bothering me too.

I shut my eyes again as his footsteps thump back to the room. He pauses for a moment and as I am laying on my side with my back to him, I can't even peep and see what's going on.

He stays like that for a while. And before I could reckon what is happening, he climbs into the sheets with me.

I give him the bed and he chooses to lay on the floor? What a strange kid!

His hand comes around my stomach. And his head rests against my hair. He takes in a deep breath and seems to calm down. My scent calms him?

My eyes widen as I realize that I am not only letting this kid touch me, I am also allowing him to lay down with me. When did I become so generous? At this rate, he would have me wrapped around his pinkie in no time.

I have to admit that finding out he is a boy has made him more adorable for me.

I calm my breathing down, lest he guesses I am awake. Which would put us both in an embarrassing situation.

Besides, I think I am enjoying this. Its been so long since I have felt a fellow werewolf's touch. And he is not someone to bad, to begin with.

................................................................................................

The next day I find myself waking early to get on with the training. I am not a coward, and I certainly not weak. What better way to prove that than beating up Blaze. I can feel my blood boiling in excitement with that thought.

Its been a while since I really caused trouble for Blaze. A girl's got to keep the destructive mate bond going.

I slowly get up and wrap Zarine up in my bed sheets. He finds the pillow I give him a good replacement. Probably because of my scent on it.