Countdown | UNB JUNCHAN

Chapter 5

It was commonly said that when a person let out a truth that was eating them up inside, the first thing they would feel afterward would be relief. No matter how bad the truth was, getting closure to such an old sorrow would be a positive feeling.

Jun supposed that depending on the circumstances, it wasn't always the case.

Instead, what he felt was sorrow. The confusion his best friend showed in his face was incredibly painful... the fact that his earliest reaction was pure and complete bewilderment meant that he really didn't expect Jun to have anything to do with what happened.

While it was true that he also felt somehow at ease since he managed to be sincere to his friend... the longer it took him to react, the more Jun knew that things were going to get very very ugly.

At first, Gwangsuk looked at him as if Jun had suddenly started speaking in another language and he couldn't understand a single word. After that, the younger repeated his words. It was then when the other man got up from the bench where both of them were sitting on. Jun stared at him, closely, and judging by his expression... the poor man didn't know what to do, or say.

He probably didn't even know what to think about this.

Jun got up too. When he did so Gwangsuk took a few steps back away from him. He didn't take his eyes off him, though.

"Are you serious?" The older boy asked, still glancing at him as if Jun had just told him he was an alien or something. "...I know you wouldn't joke about something like this but... you are way less capable of..." he didn't finish the statement. Most likely because he didn't want to put in into words. "Jun. What the heck. It is a joke then?"

Jun shook his head, unable to pronounce a word after that. Gwangsuk's gaze darkened. Still as lost as ever.

"No. I just... don't get anything. Why would you...?" He paused. "You don't like him. You never liked him."

His confusion was easy to understand... Jun had always tried to avoid Chan ever since he first met him. Everyone knew about it. As much as Jun made the attempt to disguise his -apparent- dislike as much as possible, the truth was that everyone in the group had been aware of it. And, of course, the one who noticed it the most, apart from Chan, had been Gwangsuk himself.

"That... might have been what it looked like but, to be honest... I..." Jun didn't know whether to explain his feelings or to continue listening to the other man. He had to make Gwangsuk understand what really occurred but at the same time... it was so hard...

"Did he... convince you?" Gwangsuk said, still trying to follow the conversation and reach out to the truth by himself. "Maybe you guys got drunk or something and... he tried to seduce you...?"

"Hyung... what."

That last question felt especially painful for Jun. Even after telling Gwangsuk that he had slept with his (now) ex-boyfriend, the older actually tried to justify him, to put the blame on Chan if necessary. He was trying to find, almost unconsciously, an excuse for Jun, so what the latter did wasn't as horrible.

But there was none.

Yes, he let himself get carried away. But at the time he had been fully aware of what he was doing.

"I just don't get it, Jun. I know you. You wouldn't be able to do something like that with a person you don't even like... there is something very weird going on. I'm sure."

Jun closed his eyes and sighed.

"You know me. That's true. But... that doesn't mean that there aren't things I've hidden from you."