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I don't know how we ended up here again but somehow we did. The stars are even more beautiful this time than last time, probably because the cold air is making them appear much brighter. There is no clouds covering them.

There on the side of the small road where we laid last time we're lying together just looking at the sky and the stars that probably died long ago without it having reach earth yet.

Silence is surrounding us, the only sound coming from the wind grabbing the trees around us, the sound of the leaves falling slowly to the ground... it's not long now until the first snow will hit the grounds of the UK.

"Are you nervous? I heard you have a competition coming up soon.... Why didn't you tell me about it before?" Harry almost sounds sad because I didn't... I try to push the feeling of guilt away, I know the reason why I didn't tell him, I didn't want him to know.

"It's not a big competition kind of just a friendly little thing to get us all started for the season." I mumble out, not showing him that his words affected me... or not really his words but the tone his voice had when they left his pink lips.

"It sounds fun, I bet you will win..." He says and turns to look at me with those beautiful green eyes... I wish that it would be like in the books were still in the dark you can see someone's eye colour, but really it isn't any other light than from the moon and the stars, so everything is just different shades of grey and black

But I know the colour of them, I imagine them there lighting up his whole face when he looks at me.

"Probably... you should come." I say, I'm so unsure of my own words but I realised something earlier... I can't deny how much I want to be with Harry, no matter how hard I try it will always end up with me being too weak to let him go.

So why should I fight the feeling when I can just let it take over?

The music from Harry's car is softly playing in the background making me want to stay there forever.

I want to pause this moment, be frozen in time right here until the day I take my last breathe.

"I would love that." I smile when Harry answers that knowing that maybe this will work, maybe I won't be Harry Styles boyfriend... just maybe I will still be able to be me... Wishful thinking.

We stay there until it gets too cold for the both of us, only then we decide that we probably should try to get some warmth... so we go to the one place that somehow feels like a safe spot to be... the coffee shop.

The only sound on the way there is the car engine and the radio.

And if your homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it

People help the people.

Harry's hand is on my leg making me feel safe, like nothing can hurt me.

The way it warms the area where it lies makes me smile a small smile. I've dated people before but no one have ever made me feel like Harry... are we even dating? What are we?

I want to ask him but when I try nothing comes out from my mouth, I'm scared of the answer.

Harry parks just a small walk from the coffee shop, I don't want to leave the warmth and comfort of the car when he does.

"Can we just sit here for a while?" Harry asks like he read my thoughts and I just nod in answer.

So there we sit in the car that's turned off looking out at the empty parking lot. There is such a difference from how many cars there usually is here in the day.

I let my hand grab his and play with his long fingers, they're so different compared to mine, a good different because they fit so well with mine.

It's like time doesn't exist when I'm with Harry, like everything stops or slows down when we touch.

"You look great tonight, I was going to say it when I picked you up earlier but my mind couldn't process how to say it right there and then." His words makes a small blush appear on my cheeks, I didn't think anyone could make me feel like a teenage girl... I am a grown man for fuck sake but here I am blushing like crazy.

"You don't look so awful yourself" I mumble out and feel embarrassed about the fact that he makes me feel like this.

"Oh is that so." He laughs out, when I first met him I never saw him like this person. There in the ski slope he seemed so different, he didn't seem so confident...

He seems so much sure about what to say than I do... I'm lost here.

Back there we were at my safe place, the place I knew what I was doing at... but this, the thing going on between us is different, I have never done this before...

How can he be so confident about all this? Why can't I be as confident as him?

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