Chapter 61

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this is a bit short sooo here ya go

***

I stretch my legs out as I retake my seat on the steps of the deck.

Rosé went in a little while ago.

She never did get her finger in my ear, which is a very good thing and sounds way dirtier than it should.

Or maybe that's just me.

I look up at the night sky and contemplate the meaning of life.

Ok, ok, not really. I'm actually thinking of ways to thank Jennie for the song she wrote and performed for me.

I think a big thank you is in order.

A thank you that involves minimal clothing and perhaps some of the whipped cream I haven't gotten the chance to use yet.

Jennie is the best dessert around!

My thoughts inevitably drift back to the first family dinner Jennie attended and how different things are now.

I'm no longer searching for hidden messages from her and I'm no longer in a constant state of anxiety. The knots in my stomach that come from being around Jennie aren't because I doubt how she feels, they're caused by knowing exactly what's in her heart.

Exactly.

It's easy to get lost in all the wonderful sensations Jennie makes me feel, but my discussion with Rosé alerted me to the fact that as happy as I am with her, she can't be everything.

She can be a lot, but I have to make time for the other people in my life who I love dearly.

Life is a balancing act.

I may fall down now and then, both literally and figuratively, but I have confidence that I'll be able to work it all out. As long as I get plenty of Jennie time, that's all that matters.

I won't have that time when she leaves me.

Ah!

I thought I already decided not to go there.

I guess my mind doesn't want to listen to my directions.

What a surprise!

Not!

I picture Jennie naked to dispel all negative thoughts from my overactive brain.

That does the trick.

And how!

Jennie and I have only just begun our journey together, I won't let the unknown bring me and us, down.

And when that day comes, I'll just have to be creative when it comes to how I deal with her absence.

I can be very creative!

There's FaceTime.

That way, I can still talk with Jennie and see her as well.

Plus, we can do other stuff to pass the time if we get bored of talking.

Gah!

I have such a one track mind sometimes.

Or all the time.

At least I'm no longer dreading the possible departure of Jennie from my everyday life.

"Penny for your thoughts," Jennie says just like that first night as she sits behind me and wraps her arms around my waist. She rests her head on my shoulder and her warm breath tickles my skin.

"I told you already, my thoughts are priceless," I tease and I know Jennie is smiling, even if I can't see her.

Jennie kisses the side of my face making me melt into her. "Did you work everything out with Rosé?"

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