Ambition || Harry Styles

*27*

"She was the complete opposite of you," he says seriously and my stomach drops so quickly I feel like I might actually be sick.

He must see the hurt cross my face because he shakes his head.

"She was entitled and pretentious," he continues and I am able to get a small amount of air back into my lungs.  "Celeste. A model and aspiring actress," he rolls his eyes in jest and I bite my lip to stifle a smile but my insecurities automatically assume she must have been drop-dead gorgeous.

"She knew how beautiful she was. Everything was for show, her life was about money and fame and status."

He looks down and twirls a ring around his finger. "We had some great times but I hated the attention she craved from other guys, older, wealthy ones especially," he reflects his jaw clenching as he says this with something dark flashing across his eyes.

"Couldn't have been that bad?" I say softly, wondering how any other man could ever dream of competing with him. "Knowing she's with you at the end of the day?"

"Depends how affected you become by it, Lexi.  She loved it, gave her a thrill to see me jealous and she started to need the spotlight to validate herself. Everyone wanted a piece of her and that was the way she liked it."

His eyes flash and his jaw locks, his voice growling, "I don't like to share."

My heart kicks back into gear, racing ahead and setting my skin on fire in its tracks.

"Where is she now?" I dare to ask, scared of the answer.

"She's still modelling, saw her on a billboard on the side of a building the other day.  Seven stories high and still not an accurate representation of the size of her head," he smiles and I exhale a laugh at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"Alright, your turn, your last boyfriend. The one that was so good you never had sex again," he grins cheekily as he drags his bowl back and finishes his meal.

I twirl the ends of my hair as I debate how much to disclose. 

"His name's Adam, he was my first boyfriend. We dated for four years. He's in property too, my dad loved him." I roll my eyes at the thought of him and my brothers playing golf together.

"What happened?"

"Oh, you know, I was really busy with work," I start to get flustered just thinking about it. "I can't blame him really," I lie as I stand up abruptly and gather our bowls to put into the kitchen sink as a divergent.

"Hey," Harry grabs my wrist as I reach for his empty dish but place my own to the table in defeat when I see the concern on his face. He turns his body to face me, his knees spreading as he drags me between them.

"He was cheating on me. Actually had a full-on affair and left me for her when she fell pregnant.  Think I always knew to be honest, but I was working a lot so..." I admit shamefully, not able to meet the green gaze I know is on me.

"You working hard isn't an excuse to be a shit guy, Lex," Harry explains what I already know and I can feel the dreaded tears start to sting my nose.

"Yeah well, that's what he said was my problem. I was tired all the time so I guess he had to get it elsewhere," I blush at my confession, the embarrassment thick in my voice.  "He would always tell me that I put work first and that I would have nothing to offer anyone if I kept it up.  Think he wanted a bit of a housewife, but I didn't match the criteria."

I look up to see the frown etched into Harry's face.

"I think you're too hard on yourself," Harry croaks, trying to catch my vision as he twists my hips in his hands back and forth to make me laugh. "Yes, you work long hours, but so do a lot of people."