twenty

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     When Isaac’s car drew to a stop outside his house on Saturday, Jared was already out waiting on the porch. He didn’t want Isaac to have a run in with his mum.

     Isaac noticed him and waved, smile tight. His phone rang just as Jared got in the car. Some slow and vaguely melancholy piano notes were drifting from the speakers. 

    “D’you mind if I-?” Isaac motioned to his ringing phone, and Jared shrugged.

    “Go ahead.”

    The guy on the CD started singing just as Isaac said hello. The music was pretty loud. Jared contemplated turning it down so Isaac could hear his call better, but didn’t because he was Jared and he wasn’t thoughtful.

    “Yeah I’m fine,” Isaac was saying. He didn’t look fine. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes and his dimples nowhere to be seen. “Yeah…I know it’s the dark blue CD. Very observant. And no, that doesn’t mean I’m about to have an emotional breakdown… Yeah, I know. She just- she keeps going on about how I should talk to the priest and you know- Yeah, of course I’m not. No. I know.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose and Jared felt like he shouldn’t be listening but he didn’t stop. Isaac knew he was right there, after all. How was he supposed to not listen? “I’m fine, Rosie. Seriously. I’m just on the way to a party actually.” A small laugh. “Yeah, you too. Love you. Bye.”

    Jared looked away abruptly when Isaac put the phone down.

    “My sister,” came Isaac’s voice, and he sounded tired, quieter than he’d been on the phone, softer.

    “Oh right. You- er.” This was why Jared usually avoided other people’s emotions like the plague. He was so fucking bad at this.“You alright?” he managed eventually, and Isaac smiled at him.

    “Yeah. Argument with my mother.”

     Jared hadn’t thought anyone called their mum mother any more.

    “Oh right,” he said again, feeling like an idiot. Isaac gave him another smile, quieter and gentler than his usual bright beams. As they started driving away he said,

    “This is one of my favourite songs,” reaching to turn the music up until conversation was pretty much impossible. Another touch had the front windows rolling down and then they were driving, fast, out of the town towards the small village where the party was. The night air was cool and dark, wind fresh in Jared’s face as they drove.

    The car felt strangely safe, music and darkness around them- a private cocoon in which conversation or acting the part was completely unnecessary. Jared found himself breathing easier than he had done in weeks.

     

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