Escape: Through the Fourth Wall

7: Not All Villains Monologue

As you probably guessed, I couldn't sleep that night.  

You're probably wondering just what the blazes went down in the previous chapter. I don't blame you- so was I- and any other readers who for some obscure reason are still putting up with this excuse of a book.

(A/N: T^T ) 

So there I was, tossing and turning in the bunk under Zac's - how that fella fell asleep in five seconds flat after the day we'd been through and the stuff we'd learnt is beyond me. 

The crazy class I had had with Wen had been completely lost in the hubbub of- you know- the whole 'we're not real' thingy. Come to think of it, I hadn't even mentioned Wen's class in the previous chapter, even though it had been the reason we had planned on meeting up in the library in the first place. That means you poor readers still have no idea just what the blazes went down when Wen was doing what he does best- bamboozling the heck outta people.

What, you expect me to sit here and explain that too? What do you think I've been doing for like five whole chapters??

( A/N: Well, it's more like four- )

Shut up, Author. 

No. You're going to have to deal with the suspense. I hope nobody brings up Wen for a really, really long time. Anyway, where was I?

We had quietly accepted our virtual fates and dispersed from the library, only meeting briefly for a rather awkward dinner.

I needed to clear my head, and nothing makes my head clearer than a main course of wind rushing past my face. And, if I was lucky, a side of being in the spotlight and saving the day. Seeing that Zac looked like he wouldn't be waking up anytime soon unless the school building picked itself up and mamboed into The City's Timber Lake- one of his arms hung over the side of the lower bunk and he was sprawled out as if he actually wanted his blanket to only cover half his body- I decided to risk it for the biscuit and, donning my ensemble, flew out our room's balcony window- which, come to think of it, I didn't remember existing prior to that moment.

And that's when the real crap started.

What? The Author said that in the previous chapter? Don't listen to that nitwit. He (or she, I guess?) knows less about his (or her, yes, I know. You people are unnecessarily PC, jeez) 'book' than your government lets you know about actual alien activity.

So there I was, minding my own business, sailing through the sky as one often does, admiring the sight of The City at night, a calm, peaceful, almost lullabying state, also keeping an eye out for more invisible centaurs and Mayor shenanigans- when I hear someone shout "Yoohoo!" in my general direction. This, as you can probably tell, came as a surprise to me, because I was a few hundred feet up in the bloody air.

And while I was wondering, as you probably were, why none of my 'fans' ever bothered to call out to me before that very moment and instead whisper in each other's ears while staring at me as if I have a 'Drugs For Sale' sign attached to my neck instead of a head, a car flew at me.

Yes. You read that right.

A car flew at me.

Like, an actual car. Not some action figure. Not some pencil case. Not some utopian vehicle commandeered by a time traveller named Blendin Blandin. An actual, normal, red Sedan.

I only just managed to dodge it. It soared past me, losing momentum quickly. I was able to stop spinning around mid-air just in time to see it explode on the pavement below.