Hump and Dump

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Julia's POV

"Julia, that was..." Diana starts.

"Harsh, I know. I wish I didn't say all of it, but whatever."

"No, it was much more than harsh. It was heartless and mean and not okay. Did you see the look on his face when you did that to him? You completely crushed him. Not just that, but you did it in front of the entire school. That's... I don't know. As your friend, I think I should tell you this; you really went way too far."

I nod. "You're right. Should I apologise?" I ask.

"For a start, yeah."

"Okay, let me find him. I'll see you later."

I walk back into the hall and find Max sitting in his usual chair at the front of the hall. His face is in his hands and his elbows are leaning against his legs.

"Look, Max, I am so sorry. Someone just pointed out how badly I messed up. I know I went too far and I know I can't take it back now, but I wish I could."

Max stands up and runs a hand through his hair. He watches me, his red, glossy eyes piercing right through me. Then, without a word, he walks past me, bumping my shoulder as if I'm not even there.

I deserve much worse.

I stare at the ground, wishing for nothing more than the ability to go back in time and change how I reacted.

I walk out the hall and make my way to my room. Once I'm in my pyjamas, I shut the curtain and climb into bed, not caring about the fact that it is only one in the afternoon.

I don't even know what to do. I don't think I have ever messed up this badly before, to a point where I can't even fix it.

What do I do?

I lie in bed for hours, unable to fall asleep. Unwanted thoughts of Max and everything we have been through - what I have done - swarm through my head.

Is this what it feels like to cheat on someone? To betray their trust and perspective on love. My God it is the worst feeling in the world, worse than being cheated on. And this is probably how Max felt when I refused to forgive him.

Hopeless.

I groan and shift once again, trying to find a position that is comfortable for me to fall asleep, but nothing works. It's not the position that's the problem, it's me. It's what I have put Max through.

Tears slip down my cheeks and I groan, biting my lip in frustration.

Okay, I need to stop these thoughts. I wipe all thoughts out of my head, which is a lot harder than it seems, and try to fall asleep. My mind becomes dark and blank, and after a while, I manage to fall asleep.

"This is weird, but I really want to kiss you..."

"Why?" I ask. "Are you allowed to kiss your customers?"

He smirks and rolls his eyes. "You're cute."

"I thought you don't go around kissing random girls."

"Yeah, well, I don't know why, but I'll make you an exception." He kisses my neck slowly, making me close my eyes.

My eyes fly open and I sit up, hardy able to breathe. I remember exactly what I was dreaming about.

The first kiss I shared with Max when we were in the massage parlour. When he had his hands on my body and his lips on mine.

I shake my head and I get off my bed, checking the clock which tells me that it's already eleven pm. Diana is sleeping, wrapped like a burrito in her blankets.

I rub my eyes to clear the slight haze, and then step out of my room and make my way outside, to the spot where I used to come out to see Max before... before everything.

I sit in the cold for a while, knowing that trying to fall back to sleep will be pointless. I was lucky to get the three hours of sleep that I did.

I stare up at the sky, trying not the think of the boy who I hurt really badly. Maybe it did go too fast. Maybe it wasn't meant to happen. Maybe it was all fake. Even though there are so many reasons not to, I still love him.

I love him.

I hear footsteps approaching and I frown, wondering who would be out here. Immediately, I turn around to check. "Max," I whisper.

I stand up. "Don't worry, Julia. I just came to tell you I'm done." He nods, glancing away.

"Done?" I ask, feeling my heart slowly sink.

"Yeah. I mean, I thought maybe what happened in that massage parlor was special. I felt something that I have never felt before, but I screwed up after that and I get it. You want nothing to do with me and that's fine," he explains and I notice his hands shaking slightly.

"No, I—"

"You don't have to do it again, Julia. You let them tie me up alone, when you knew that would hurt me, and you rejected me in front of everyone. I get it. You don't have to say it again. You hate me. I will never forget that."

I shake my head. "Max, no. I'm sorry. I do love you, too. I realized—"

"No, stop," he whispers and shuts his eyes, his face contorting in pain. "You've hurt me enough, okay? You don't have to do this. You don't have to pretend. We can just..." He opens his eyes, but doesn't meet my gaze. "We can just never talk again. It won't be hard since we shouldn't have been talking in the first place."

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Don't be. What happened between us was a mistake that I made and I had to face the consequences." He pauses for a moment. "I won't make that mistake again."

Then, he walks back inside, leaving me alone in the cold.

~~*~~

Hai :)

T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx
I n s t a g r a m : laylzk
S n a p c h a t : laylz_k

Lots of love and jelly tots- TPG