Ten

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My throat is killing me and every time I swallow it feels like swallowing glass. I wonder if my eyes are bloodshot from being strangled.

My tears evaporate quickly from the heat, disappearing before they can even reach my chin. I don't wipe them away, but close my eyes instead, breathing in and out slowly, trying to control the sobs that won't see to stop.

I wrap my arms around myself, leaning forward. I press my arms hard into my stomach, trying to stop the pain. There is so much pain, it's everywhere.

Even though I've told myself over and over to let go of my hope that my father will change his mind, I can't seem to let it go. He'll never change, his already proven that.

I let out a shaky breath, opening my eyes. My eyelashes are soaked from my own tears and I can hardly see through the blur of it all.

I tried to lay back down, to relax, but I'm too alert, too cautious of what could happen any second. I need to remember that I'm not safe here, which thanks to Andy, has been proven.

I try to get up again, placing my tired feet on the ground, but that's as far as I get before the door bounces on its hinges, almost hitting the person walking through it. I flinch, ready for Andy to hit me again. He probably rang my dad and has worked out why I'm still here. He might have come to kill me.

"If you come near me again, I'll—I'll fucking kill you," I croak, sobbing.

I'm pushed against a chest as strong arms wrap around my back, supporting all my weight. I can't stand up at all. I hate how weak I am.

It's Hunter.

"Ellie," he breathes, his voice pained. He rubs his arms up and down my back and my sobs seem to get quieter before all that is left are a few stray tears.

He sits on the edge of the hay bale, his head between his knees. His hands are clasped behind his head and he's tugging at his blonde locks hard. He curls his hands into fists, bringing them to rest on his knees.

The pure anguish that rests in his eyes is enough for me to almost break apart. Tears are starting to well up in his eyes, but he breathes deeply, closing them and looking away from me.

Hunter moves off the bed, kneeling down next to my head. I turn to watch him as his eyes change rapidly. Anger, hurt, fury, sadness.

His eyes linger on my neck, and they widen like he's just noticed it for the first time. This is all the proof I need to know that there must be bruises in the shape of handprints scattering my skin.

He gets up suddenly, pacing the barn. His hands find his hair again as he tugs at the ends. He balls them into fists and I notice the slight shake. He suddenly punches the far left wall

"Hunter," I say. He looks over at me, his expression changing like he's forgotten I'm still here.

The Hunter I'm seeing now is the Hunter that I've seen at school, in the hallways. The Hunter who fights with my brother, the one who is always up for a fight. The Hunter I don't like.

"God, Ellie—"

"Don't," I say, my voice completely broken, full of too much emotion. "Don't say you're sorry. Saying sorry won't help now."

I don't know if I'm being harsh or if I need to be harsher. Hunter is Andy's son. I want to believe he's different, but I don't know enough about him to come to that conclusion. Besides, even if I want to, how can I trust a Razor?

"I know he's an asshole, but I never thought that he would do..." he sighs, closing his eyes before continuing. "When he told me that he was going to kidnap you, I thought it was just to scare The Skulls a bit. I never would have let this happen if I thought that—"

"If you though what? He would hurt me?" I laugh angrily.

"Don't you see that the pain I'm in runs deeper than what just happened to me today? Being here is the worst part, Hunter! And god, I had stupidly hoped that you didn't have anything to do with me being kidnapped, but you knew all along? At least your brother had enough dignity to give me a warning!"

He falls silent, breathing hard. "You have no idea what my life is like."

I sit up, even though my entire body screams at me to stop. "Oh, so now I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?"

He flinches. "I wish I could have done something, Ellie," he whispers.

"You still can," I say, calming down a little bit. "You can go to your father right now and tell him to let me go. You can tell him what he did wasn't right either."

He's silent for too long and I feel myself deflate. I know his answer before he even says it. "You don't know what my father is like."

Is he serious? I think I know pretty well what his father is like. I'd seen it first hand, about an hour ago.

"Other than violent," he says clearing his throat, "he's controlling and manipulative. If I stand up to him about this..."

I can't help it, a few tears escape my eyes. I wish things could be different. I wish my life could be different.

"Don't you see, Hunter? You're terrified of your father, and you know he'll abandon you if you say something," I breath out, ready to bring the final blow. "And that makes you a coward."

"Fuck, I—"

"I want you to leave, please."

"El—"

"Please. Please, I just need you to leave," I tuck my knees up to my chin.

I wait to hear his retreating footsteps and the door slamming shut behind me before I begin to cry.

Why did I ever think that maybe, just maybe, Hunter could be different? I had given him a chance to show me that he isn't like his father, to see if he cares about people. Unfortunately, I've been right all along.

Hunter will always choose his father, no matter what. He will never be able to consider anyone else, being brainwashed from a young age. I'm too late to make any difference.

I'm not enough for my father to change, and I'll never be enough to change Hunter either.

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