Chapter 21

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Chapter 21 

"And how can I win when I'm always bound to lose?" 

Lose My Mind, Dean Lewis



Liam Parker

I both loved and hated this step because first, she did things she would never dare to do if she was sober and it was fun to poke fun of it later on. I equally hated it because it tested all patience and self-control I had.

Her arms wrapped around my neck as she pulled me closer. Desire was slowly simmering in me and I knew that this was already dangerous.

I wanted to stop, but how could I? I missed her kiss, her scent, her touches. Heck, I missed all of her. And if I only allowed myself to be honest, there wasn't a day in these past five years that I stopped thinking about her.

Iris drove me crazy, but she didn't need to know that. Now, however was a whole new level. Five years of not seeing her, talking to her or even touching her had caused a drought in me.

Instinctively, I held her by her waist and kept her close to me. I deepened the kiss and she willingly opened her mouth. We were breathing each other in intensely, like we were afraid that if we stopped, we would lose each other forever.

It was desire at first, but the longer we were at it, it became more passionate. Five years worth of passion and longing.

I pulled away for a moment to breathe, but it didn't take too long before our lips met again.

The bed was just a few feet away and we were both aware of it. The logical part of me was telling me to stop, I wanted her, but this wasn't it. This wasn't right. But the other part wanted her so bad, I wanted her.

"Liam..." she says in a voice mixed with desire and sultry. I knew she wanted me too.

In just a few moments, we were already on the bed. Her hands started roaming under my shirt and where her touch had been set me more and more on a blazing fire.

I took her jacket off as I started trailing kisses down her neck to her chest area. In the mean time, she helped take my shirt off before she got me to kiss her again. Heat was rising in me, I could feel it. 

My desire of her was growing and I'm afraid if we go deeper, I can't stop anymore.

I need to stop, damn it! 

I pulled away from Iris and took a step backwards. She immediately raised her head and met my eyes. I could already see it. She looked confused and... hurt. 

"What's wrong?" her voice slurred a bit and that was exactly what was wrong. I neared her and cupped her face with my hands. 

Tears were already starting to form in her eyes as she tried to speak. I rest my forehead against hers, trying to calm her down. "You have no idea how much I want you right now, Iris. But not now, not like this. You're drunk." I say softly. I didn't want to take advantage of her when she was at a drunken state. 

However, her tears had already started to fall. 

"You don't want me?" her voice was laced with hurt and suffering. 

"No, no, no, no. Of course, I do. But not like this. You'll regret this when you wake up." I start to place kisses on her cheeks but she was having none of it. 

Iris pushed me away and crawled up the bed where she covered herself with the blanket. I could still hear the muffled cries and I hated myself even more. 

I didn't stay beside her anymore after that. I got up from the bed and went straight into the shower. I stripped all of my clothes and took a very, very cold shower. 


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After I had calmed myself down, I got out and changed. I checked on Iris only to see that she had fallen asleep. Down her cheeks were traces of her ruined mascara and her dried tears. 

As I sat beside her lying body, I stared at her, whispering my gratefulness that she was here again, but that didn't last long. 


"Liam." Ezra stormed inside my office and I look up to him, annoyed. "Woah, woah, calm down. You gotta hear this." 

"What is it?" I ask finally. 

"They know about Iris." he says and my eyes widen. How? Ezra seemed to read my thought because he answered right away. "Aquile Neres shared information with other mafia groups about your wife. Thankfully, they were smart enough to not reveal about the triplets, but it's only a matter of time till they find out." Damn it all. 

 I tried with all of my power to conceal Iris' presence from the mafia world. She didn't know a thing about it, heck she didn't even know I was a part of it until that bastard told her a few years ago. I had protected her the best way I could before and this time, I had to protect her with everything I got. 

I couldn't get her involved in this mess, no. That would only add up to my sins against her. 


Staring at her now, I knew I had to protect her with everything. And the triplets. 

I sighed and got up. Before I left the room, I kissed her forehead and made my way to the triplets' room. 

I slept there that night. Although I wanted to stay by Iris' side, I knew I couldn't. Too many things happened tonight and I might not be able to control myself. 


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