Captivated

Part 1

"Oh no, AJ!" I say to myself as I look at my reflection. I smile briefly as I realise that talking to myself in the mirror, along with talking about myself in third person, are the mannerisms of a certain woman. That certain woman who turned my world upside down last year. But this year...

Things have changed. A bright flame fizzled out. I rebuilt myself. Focussed on work. Tried to move on. Not that I could forget about her...you can't forget about someone who has changed your life; changed the person you are. I fixed my broken heart – it took time. There were moments when I would reflect on what we had and wonder how it was possible for 'us' to not work. At some point, the pain of losing her didn't outweigh the warmth of what we'd had. There was a realisation that, even though it hadn't worked out, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Falling in love with her had been an amazing experience, and someday I would get to have that adventure with someone new. I wasn't done with love, I just wasn't ready to get on that rollercoaster again for a while.

Or so I thought.

There's a reason why they call it 'falling' into love: it can't be controlled and you can't stop it once it starts. I just hadn't expected to be in a free-fall so soon. And I am spiralling out-of-control.

The smile on my reflected self grows as I think about her. I can't help the way I feel about her – she is just captivating. I just can't believe it has happened: the last thing I wanted to do was to fall in love on Strictly again...