It's September and I need a roommate. I couldn't live in the dorms anymore. I was fed up of being paired with idiots. I was done sharing my kitchen and my bathroom with an entire floor. When I signed the lease for my apartment, I did it with the guy...
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It's January and I get to the New Year's party at my apartment a few seconds after the countdown is over.
There's a bunch of people I don't know, and some I vaguely recognize—they're all Holt's friends.
I wish things were different and I wouldn't be exhausted and I would want to dance around my living room and chat with strangers and have a fun night. But as it is now, I'd rather just be hiding under my blankets.
I'm not the college party slut I once was. It's so weird because it feels like yesterday I was still partying like an animal, but at the same time my college years feel so far away. It's strange how time works.
"Eli!" someone hollers as I make my way to my room. Not just someone, the only person that matters in the apartment, of course.
I turn around and smile. "Hey Holt."
And before I can do anything Holt is hugging me and telling me happy New Year and I'm hugging him back and closing my eyes and revelling in the moment for a second.
What if I never let him go? What if I just tell him I'm tired of fighting it and I just keep on hugging him forever? I could say it's my New Year's resolution, I'm suuuure it would get me a free pass.
But too soon, Holt let's go of me and steps away, so I let him go.
"When's the last time you were home?" he asks me.
"Like three months ago," I answer.
"How's the documentary going?" he wonders, smiling.
I shrug a little. The interviews are mostly done, so now the ball is in our camp. "So far so good. We have a lot of editing to do now."
"Will you show it to me?"
I shrug again. "When it's half way decent, sure."
Holt frowns. "You alright?"
I run a hand through my hair. "Oh yeah, just kind of tired."
"Oh, sorry. I can kick everyone out. We can go to a bar instead. We can take the streets!"
A give him a small smile. "The last thing I would ever want to do is kick out any of your friends Holt. Don't worry about it. How are you? How's college?
Here it is, his happy goofy grin. God, how I wish I could hug him again, and kiss him this time. Shouldn't I get my New Year's kiss? "Pretty good. I don't think I ever properly thank you, you know," he tells me.
It's my time to frown. "For what?"
"For setting me in the right path," he says.
"You would have figured it out on your own."
He's shaking his head. "No, I don't think I would have."
"Give yourself more credit."
Holt does a sort of combination of laughter, sighing, and shaking his head, like he's discouraged with me. "Just take the damn thank you, will you?"
I chuckle. "Fine. You're welcome. Now go entertain your guests," I tell him, pushing his shoulder a bit.
"They're fine and I see them all the time. I haven't seen you in ages."
"I have been away for a while," I admit.
"I think you're avoiding me." I know he's joking but I'm scared he might be a little honest right now and I'm scared he's seeing right through me.
Yes I have been avoiding you Holt. It's the best way I know how to get over you.
