Chapter 39

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I turned around. I couldn't sleep. It was just so cold. Not the house, but inside of me. I felt so cold. My mind was going crazy. Did I do the right thing? I knew that he was a mess but I couldn't take it anymore. We hurt each other so much. I shook the thoughts away, trying to drift of to sleep where I would forget it all.


I woke up with a killer headache. I just slept two hours and all of my sleep was gone. I stood up and prayed Fajr. I prayed and prayed. So many tears I let fall. In shaa Allah would Allah guide me, because I couldn't do it myself. I was not strong and I knew this.


"Mrs. Osman, here breakfast." the same guard from yesterday said. I grabbed it and looked at it. I'd never had a breakfast that luxe.

"Call all the guys over, I don't know with how many you are, but you can have breakfast here" I said and he shook his head. I gave him a glare and that made him call everyone over. They were with seven. I couldn't help but think of why they would have this many security just for this little house?

And for three days everything was the same. I would wake up and pray and have breakfast with the men. Then I would clean the house or pray the whole day. I wondered where I was going to stay when we divorce. Would Aneel help me to get me a house? I didn't want anything big. Just a place to stay in. I mean, he would right? I had nowhere else to go. He was not that bad. Divorce.. When I thought about that word, my heart hurt, because deep inside I knew that I didn't want this. I mean, I learned so much from this marriage. We were both a mess and tried to survive just for a breath. I know it was not always bad. I enjoyed to wake up the last few weeks next to Aneel. It made me feel safe. I enjoyed the feeling that I hugged him and he was just shocked. I knew that I needed to help him, but I couldn't do it. He needed help, but not from me. He needed a strong woman who would tame him. I cant do it, I'm not strong..

It felt like hell. These three days. Without him. Without anyone. Lonely. Was it always going to be like this? Or would I get used to it? I tried to close my eyes to hear that voice. Maybe that voice knew what I had to do. I tried it for three days but it just didn't come. It was like that voice dissappeared. I knew that it would come back, but why leaving me alone in the most difficult decision? What would Aneel think when he hears it? I think he heard it by now. Aisha found a lawyer and he started the process for me. Her friend is a lawyer so it was easy. I owned her so much for this. I knew that it was not that easy to have a divorce and it was just the third day I made up this decision. I shrugged it off and closed my eyes. These days were tiring so I couldn't open my eyes any longer.

I felt softness on my cheek. It was comforting, warm.. I leaned in to the touch, not wanting that the feeling fades. The scent I was smelling was familiar and I knew I missed it. Then my brain started to work and I opened my eyes in shock, realizing the situation. My eyes widened, because in front of me, was he, Aneel..

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Final Editing Done (27-10-2016)

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