Chapter Nineteen

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The next morning, Emily found that she had, at some point in the night, found her way back to bed and had crawled under the sheets. There was a wet spot on her pillow from her tears and, as she struggled to open her eyes, she realised that she had cried so much that her lashes had become matted.

The crying hadn't helped, though. It had given her momentary relief, but there was still a heavy sadness in her heart that hadn't been alleviated. That would last a long, long while, she supposed.

Suddenly, the door to her room burst open, and in came Ellen, humming merrily. "Good morning, milady." She greeted, before catching sight of the sorry state Emily was sure she was in, "Oh, are you alright? Do you need me to fetch the doctor or Lady Hawthorne?"

"Yes, Ellen, I'm fine." Emily promised, before adding, "Would you mind bringing me some tea and breakfast to my room, though? I must start packing for my journey. I'm afraid I've put it off for far too long."

"Of course, milady." Ellen said with a short curtsy, "Right away."

Once she'd left, Emily busied herself with running a brush through her tangled hair, before giving up in less than five minutes. She sighed in frustration at the mess her hair had turned into, and sat back in her chair, staring into the looking glass, lost in thought.

Finally, the door opened again, and Emily was glad for the distraction some food would bring. To her surprise, however, it was Cassandra who had brought in the tray and not Ellen. 

"Good morning, Em." Cassandra chirped, setting the breakfast tray down on the dressing table. The rich aroma of tea filled the air. On her tray, were two hard-boiled eggs, half a loaf of freshly baked bread, and some jam and butter. "I thought I'd eat in here with you today since you're leaving this evening."

Although her ship was to leave the following night, Emily had to leave for the docks that very day so that she would be on board the ship by noon tomorrow and get her affairs in order before setting sail. It was a passenger ship, not a trade ship, which meant that there were many things she had to sort through once she'd boarded it. She'd booked a first class cabin, so that she could have one last taste of luxury before the hardships she was sure to face.

She was going back to Africa, to Egypt, which she hadn't been to the last time. After that, she was thinking of going to India or perhaps even the West Indies. As far as she could get from Nate, at least.

"You don't look very well, though." Cassandra remarked, concerned, as she cracked open an egg. "Did you get enough sleep last night?"

"I don't think so." She winced, "I kept getting up in the middle of the night. An uneasy mind, I suppose, with the voyage so soon." Emily explained. It was entirely natural for one to be concerned about a journey at sea, for they were often dangerous. So, it would be believable enough to Cassandra, and much easier than explaining everything that had been happening with her and Nate.

"Well, go back to sleep after breakfast, then." Cassandra ordered, "Ellen, Allie and I can help you pack later. Rest must be the order of the day, though, as it is far more important for you to be ready for the journey than to pack for it. It'll be a much quicker task if all of us help."

"Thanks, Cassie." Emily managed a smile, taking a bite of the bread so that she wouldn't have to hold the smile for long. "I think I'll do just that. Where's Juliette?"

"She's sleeping in her bassinet in my chamber." She answered, "Ellen's watching her. She burst into my chamber a while ago to tell me that you weren't looking very good, so I told her to watch Juliette while I came to see you."

"It is only just a little tiredness." Emily informed her again, brushing it off entirely. Cassandra didn't appear to be fully convinced, but Emily soon changed the subject by asking her what Kit's reaction was when she told him she was with child again.

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