Emily

Chapter Twenty One

Nate sighed as he raised his fingers to his head and massaged his temples. His head had been aching constantly since the night before last, and he couldn't stop thinking about the scene and about Emily's reaction.

She'd read his letter, he was certain of it, but she hadn't come. Did that mean she was not going to choose him? Had he really just lost her, just like that? And, was there nothing else he could do but hope for the next few years that, perhaps, she might choose to return to him. He knew he was bound to end up doing just that. It was rather pathetic, he supposed, that he couldn't help but dwell on things.

Emily, however, was someone he was in love with. If soulmates existed, he had no doubt that she was his. That was the sort of thing one was supposed to dwell on, wasn't it?

He wondered if she believed what he'd written in the letter. That nothing had happened with Mary nor was anything going to happen to Mary. He hoped she knew that that was the last thing he would ever do, especially because it was something his father would have done, and to become like his father was his worst fear. Nate would forever strive his hardest and do everything he could to keep himself from becoming like that man, and he'd thought that Emily knew that.

At this point, all that he could ask for was that she would remember that.

Emily Carter was unlike any woman he'd ever met before. It wasn't just her independence— his sisters and quite a few others were rather independent. No, it was something else entirely in her spirit. It was her stubbornness, her fire and her zeal. She was the sort of person who, when she knew what she wanted, would do anything to get it.

He'd always thought that she'd wanted him enough for that. He'd always thought that things would all work out, that she would come back to him eventually, that they would kiss and hold hands and everything would be right with the world. He'd never considered either the past or the present, and that had been his biggest mistake. He'd been so focused on the future that, in the process, he'd forgotten about the problems that lay before them in the present. He'd been so hopeful about what could be that he'd forgotten about what actually was.

Nate knew that he wasn't exactly the most intelligent individual, but he also knew that he wasn't stupid. But, his actions over the past month or two had proven otherwise. He'd been a right fool in his dealings and he'd set himself up for heartbreak. It had been his own fault, yet he was still rotting in his study and feeling sorry for himself instead of actually doing something productive.

He'd spoken to both Kit and Cassandra, who had just returned from the docks. Emily had seemed alright, if a little sad to be leaving. The mention of the letter hadn't had much of an effect on her was what Cassie had said and, if he was being honest, that had stung.

He groaned loudly, and was about to toss his ledger at the wall, when there was a timid knock on the door, perhaps that of one of the maids.

"Come in." He called, trying his best to seem as if he were sane.

When the door opened, he frowned at the sight of the figure that slipped into the room, for it was the last person he'd expected to see enter.

Finally, she took the seat on the other side of the desk, and bent her head demurely, something very far out of character for her. Perhaps she was repenting for the mistakes she'd made? Either way, he would have to he cautious when it came to her, for she was unpredictable.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Miss Smithson?" He asked, his tone clipped, causing her to look up and meet his eyes. Hers were entirely blank, without any emotion. He supposed that that was an upgrade from the cruelty he so often saw glittering in her gaze.