The Flame (Avengers Fanfiction)

39.5-Mine//Jolene

There comes a time in a young man's life
He should settle down and find himself a wife
But I'm just fine 'cause I know that you are mine

Steve and I's first year wasn't messy. There wasn't any doubts. It was just us. We were like two halves of whole, I suppose. He'd been my friend for so long that I didn't realize how well he knew me. It was just so different than my relationships with Clint or with Matt. With both Clint and Matt, there was that basis of pure sexual attraction. The love came after. Not with Steve. Both came wrapped up together, but sex-I guess sex wasn't as important. Just the emotions between us. Not to say the sex wasn't great-I'm getting distracted. I didn't have to fuck Steve in order to fall in love with him. It just came naturally, like love should.

I fight crime online sometimes
Then write rhymes I hide behind
And my switch, her wine, both crying
I'm fine if you are fine

I was able to let my guard down around Steve. That's what I noticed at first. He understood if I felt bad and just needed to lay in bed the whole day. He was patient with me. He listened. Clint, of course, never really listened. He had no reason to. Matt, well we always focused on him. My emotions were a second thought. Not with Steve. Our emotions are equally as important to the both of us. Sometimes he just wants to be away for bit, just the two of us. I was okay with that. It was just so different. I felt more comfortable with Steve in one year than I did with Matt for almost three years. Secrets were easily let go to one another as we laid side by side in bed. My heart was out in the open for him to see. I didn't have to guard myself.

Looking back on 2009
When people said that it was raining all the time
I see sunshine 'cause I know that you are mine

I wore Steve's dog tags around my neck now- well they weren't his original ones. Those ones were under lock and key in the Smithsonian and the United States government wouldn't let Steve take them back, which is rude. But for our sixth month anniversary, that's what he got me. I honestly cried in front of him. It was so ridiculously cute that I fucking cried. It was the most personal gift I had ever gotten and god did I love it. I, in turn, carefully stitched on my initials onto the wrist of his Captain America suit. They're so tiny that you can barely see them, but Steve can. He was all teary eyed when I showed him. It was something else. All talk of the scandal between Clint and I melted away when the paparazzi caught sight of me wearing dog tags around me. All it took was one extreme zoom in and suddenly it was labeled a "whirlwind romance". For once, I didn't care if the paparazzi snapping a picture. I mean not everything the press said was positive. Some people thought I had moved on too fast from Matt or that I was going through men because I was emotionally damaged, but every picture they took, I was fucking smiling.

When you say that I'm wasting your time
Then I smile and tell you things will be fine
For some reason, I just can't say "I do"

We were "going steady" as Steve sometimes called it in conversation. I wasn't rushing to marry him and it wasn't like he was rushing to propose to me. He was mine and I was his. We slept in the same bed at the Avengers base upstate, used the same bathroom. He was the last person I saw before I went to sleep and he was usually the first face I saw when I woke up. I could honestly see myself with Steve for the rest of my life. I know I said that with Matt too, but with Matt I had doubts. When Matt was at work, I worried that he was really just fucking around with someone. With Steve, I didn't have to worry about him fucking someone else. I love him, God do I love him. He knows it without me even saying it. And know that he loves me every time he looks at me. I knew that he loved me every time I heard the jangle coming from his dog tags around my neck.

There comes a time in a young man's life
He should settle down and find himself a wife
But I'm just fine 'cause I know you are mine

Our legs entangled with each other's at nights. Hand holding when we walked around the base or even around New York City. Fun dates at Coney Island. Just being together, it was all so different. It was weird, this year with him. A good weird. I didn't overthink anything. I didn't have to dress to impress him. I didn't have to over sexualize myself to grab his attention. I was allowed to me. Steve still loved me even if I was covered in grease from helping Tony or if I was crying. I love him even if he did something stupid on a mission or he was being the biggest dork ever.

---

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him just because you can

Laura didn't get a divorce, but she lived in fear that Clint was going to leave her. How was she to compete with Peyton Stark? Her face has been gracing magazine covers for years and obviously Clint was attracted to it. She just didn't know what to do.

Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene

Laura Barton was miles away from Peyton Stark. Laura had always known that, but the differences now affected her. Every time she looked in the mirror, she noticed all the lines, the gray hairs. She wasn't as tall as Peyton, as elegant. Her face seemed to be everywhere nowadays. Her face was on every magazine in the grocery store, her smiling beautiful face.

He talks about you in his sleep
There's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, Jolene
And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene

He would notice Clint staring at her face on those magazines. Clint would quickly look away when he felt her eyes on him. He looked guilty, like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It was perverted, the way he looked at Peyton Stark's face while she and the kids were around. Did what they have mean nothing to him? Three kids, a marriage? Did that mean nothing?

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him just because you can

Peyton didn't want him, not anymore. She was out flouncing around with Captain Rogers. She had moved on from Clint so why hasn't Clint moved on from her? He had a new son, a farm to take care of. Fury pushed him into retirement after the affair was made known to him and Clint took it because it was for the better. He knew it would bring Laura to ease knowing that he wouldn't be anywhere near Peyton Stark. It didn't help.

You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
He's the only one for me, Jolene
I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene

Peyton Stark, Laura knew, was no longer in love with Clint. If anything, Peyton hated Clint more than Laura was mad at him. Clint has pushed Peyton to get an abortion, he had made her the other woman, and he had hit her. Peyton would have every right to rain down hellfire on Clint Barton, but she didn't. She set the story straight and that was it.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him even though you can
Jolene, Jolene

Laura knew that Clint still lusted after Peyton Stark. She knew it in her heart as she laid side by side with him at night. Laura didn't know if Clint was just staying with her for the kids' sake or he actually still loved her. They were supposed to be going to marriage counseling, but Clint hasn't decided if he wanted to go or not. He had an entire family in the balance and he didn't know if he cared or not.

Laura just wished that Peyton didn't chance her mind because, at this point, Laura felt like Clint would leave her.

Just

Like

That.

---

I know this chapter is weird, buuuut I wanted to do something different before diving into Civl War, especially with how dark Civil War is going to be. So here's a little happiness before it goes to shit again.

-AP