Loving the fat girl [Book 1]

32 - I love you

32. Arya

The next morning I wake up with a throbbing headache. Automatically I press my fingers into my temples, trying to massage away the pain. As if that's ever helped anyone...

The sun shines brightly and the smell of leftover pizza fills my nose. A shudder runs down my spine and I wish for yesterday's silence back. For some reason the loud traffic from outside sounds like it's happening right next to my ear.

With a groan I slide out of bed.

On today's agenda we have; going grocery shopping, unpacking clothes and school supplies and finally putting everything in its correct place.

Luckily the flat came ready-furnished so that's one less thing I'll have to worry about.

Before leaving this to get the groceries, I decide to take a shower. I brought some shower gel and shampoo from the youth home but cosmetics are definitely noted on my imaginary shopping list.

Why is it that when we step into the shower, the thoughts that we've been suppressing come back to us in an instant? As hot water washes over my head all I can think about is... you guessed it, Seth. I had worked months upon months to stop thinking about him and now all that progress is lost. I have been telling myself that he was part of another life and now I am moving on from that. I am a different person now. A person who doesn't need Seth Smith!

When I'm finished showering and my brain is successfully wrecked, I get dressed in a pair of washed out jeans and a black see through blouse. Enjoying the fresh clean feeling of my face, I decide to go make-up-less. My hair falls in damp curls over my shoulder. That should be sufficient enough to go grocery shopping.

Pushing my cart in front of me, I roam through the different isles. Slowly but surely I realize that I've never really been grocery-shopping. I mean, of course I've shopped before but never with real thought behind it. Sam had always been in charge of the money and the car so he had been assigned grocery shopping duty. Now I feel almost lost in the huge store. God, I wish I wouldn't have to do this alone...

Lost in thought, I stop in front of one of the coolers. I slide open the glass door and pull out a carton of frozen chicken wraps. Clearly I didn't learn cooking at the youth home but warming something up in the microwave I can do!

When I turn, I stop dead in my tracks and can't believe what I'm seeing. Quickly, I close the cooler with a cringeworthy bang and try to maneuver my cart into the next isle.

It can't be him. He never goes grocery-shopping! I  quickly hide my face behind a box of cereal, acting as if I'm reading what's on the box. My heartbeat goes a thousand beats per minute.

I take a peak around and to my utmost relief can't see him anywhere. Taking a deep breath, I stride towards check-out. Enough grocery shopping for today. As I load everything onto the conveyor belt, I realize how pathetic I must look to the cashier. I've got mostly frozen food, some juice, toilet paper, tooth paste and a tub of "Ben&Jerry's".

"How was your shopping experience today? Everything ok?" The female cashier asks, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Fine. Everything was just fine." I frantically check behind me but Seth is nowhere to be seen.

"Great." She chirps. "That would $20.99."

I slap the money onto the counter, put my groceries back into the cart and run from the store as quickly as possible. When I'm outside, I shove everything into a paper bag and put the cart away. My heart beats so fast, it feels like it's buzzing in my chest. Last night's worries and Ethan's words ring in my head. Why did Seth have to meet his new girlfriend at the art store that I work at?! Doesn't exactly make things easier for me!