Chapter Fifteen

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The piercing scream once I'm submerged, when my body feels like it's been stabbed in every possible area, echoes under the heavy covering of ice. My eyes won't open, the frigid water paralyzing my functions almost instantly.

Despite my flailing, I'm sinking. It's happening so fast, and I push against it. Prickles cover my skin beneath the heavy clothing, encompassing me in goosebumps. I force my eyelids to peel open, grimacing at the rush of cold water against them. Darkness is all I see.

Struggling, running out of breath, I kick my legs in desperation, knowing the air in my lungs is dissipating rapidly. But it's no use. Within seconds, my limbs are numbing beyond repair and I'm trying my hardest not to swallow back water.

And it comes to me.

I'm going to die. I'm going to die here, in the same place, the same way his family died.

And despite hardly being able to move, my hands begin to fumble with Aidan's coat, hastily. The moment the buttons are loose, I begin to shrug it off, attempting to reach the surface again, praying I haven't drifted from the initial cracking. However, when my hands crash against a layer of ice, the only thing keeping me from oxygen, I feel my heart burst, exploding with panic as I rush out of air.

Kicking ferociously, I bang against the roof of ice, moving around to find some weak point. All around me is an abyss of water, a dark icy death. If I don't find a way out, I'm dead. I'm dead, and no one will reach me until spring.

The possibility of death brings morbid thoughts to my mind, filling my senses with fear, and dread, and regret. Frightening images light up my brain, finding me even through shut eyes. Slamming my hands upward, my toes aching inside my boots as the unlivable temperature spreads throughout my body, my heart stops when I don't slam immediately into ice. Knowing I've found safety, I surge up, grunting with my last breath, and escape the depth, shoving myself into the mountains of ice, on either side. My first grasp fails, and I drop back into the water, sinking under the surface with a scream.

But, I find the energy to push again, and this time, my fingers peel into the snow, finding a patch hard enough to grasp on to. I feel the urge to cough, but my throat has closed up. I can hardly breathe. Every inch of me is exhausted, and I'm not sure how I'll pull myself out of the water without chipping off more ice. I'll freeze if I sit here though.

My eyes scan the endless white mounds around my head, searching for some way. Snow has begun to fall again in a rapid race to the ground, telling me that the storm has finally resurfaced. I'm coherent enough to know that a snow storm will kill me out here.

My hands fist the snow bare which makes them burn as I try to lift myself enough to get my foot on solid ground. That's the only way out. Wheezing gasps escape my lips as my arms buckle trying to function. It takes a few tries, but the moment my boot scrapes the edge, I put all pressure to my arms and heave myself out, scrapping through the fallen snow to climb onto it. A sound of fear echoes around me when I hear the ice crack again, weak under the pressure of my body.

The moment I'm out of the water, I use the last of my energy to crawl, to crawl as carefully as I can until I'm under forest cover. I don't know how I make it. My vision is going in and out, and my heart is thumping hard enough to hurt.

I throw myself into snow onto my back, choking on my gasps, unable to move any further. My muscles are atrophying, spasming under my skin. The only layer between me and the harsh extremes of winter are my sodden clothes—a plaid button-up and pants. I want to turn my face away from the rush of snowflakes raining from the sky, but I've lost the ability.

And I begin to wonder if drowning would have been better.

Aidan has no idea where I am. I didn't tell him I'd even left the manor. The storm has begun, and he won't be able to find me out here. And despite it being early morning, the sky is dark, swelling with voracious intensity.

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