Splintered Heart (Camila / You)

chapter four

"Well? Are you gonna explain or not?" I asked impatiently. Camila silently stared at the ground as she chewed her bottom lip, something she did when she was deep in thought.

"Kait, she...told me what you said and how you felt after what happened and...I don't know I just figured if I didn't have you here to make me stay, then I'd go. So I went to a few different places, like studios, ya know, and eventually got signed and moved to L.A. with my mom, dad, and Sofi." Camila sat back down on the stone bench as she finished her story. What did she mean? Kait told her what? And what was she talking about? What had happened?

"Wait. Hold on, what did Kait tell you I said or what I felt?" I asked as I sat down as well, facing the younger girl.

Camila took a deep breath. "That you couldn't stay with me after what happened and you didn't want to see me ever again." She muttered.

"Camila, what happened?" I asked softly. Camila slowly met my gaze, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You have no idea do you?" She asked quietly. I shook my head. "Jesus Christ," Camila put her head in her hands, tangling her fingers in her hair. "The party that happened our last day of junior year? Remember?" I nodded. "Okay well... I got kinda drunk cause I was upset that you didn't want to go with me and you'd rather stay home. I felt like you didn't want to spend time with me. And Austin was flirting with me. After awhile...he kissed me. And uh...I kissed back." Camila looked at me with nothing but shame in her eyes. "After a few minutes, I pulled away and Austin wanted to take me home to...you know...and I took the ride but I didn't let him come inside. I guess Kait saw. She came to my house the next day to tell me what you told her to, well I guess you didn't but you know what I mean. So yeah."

I couldn't speak. I was just so shocked. And mad. No not mad, I was furious. For five years my "best friend" let me wonder why the girl I loved abandoned me. Camila cautiously put her hand on mine, which were currently balled into tight fists, due to my immense anger. "Y/N, say something, please." Camila pleaded.

"Camila," I took a deep breath as I turned my hand, interlacing our fingers. "I-I didn't know. This whole time...five years...I just thought you left. No explanation. Just gone." I explained.

"Ba—I mean, Y/N, I'd never, never, do that." Camila assured me.

"Yeah well...It's a little late for that now, huh?" I breathed out, trying to lighted the mood. I guess I did okay, seeing as a small smile graced Camila's full lips. "But um...Austin?"

"Yeah...I'm so sorry. I didn't even know what was happening and I know that's not a good excuse but once I got home I knew and I made him leave and I was gonna tell you but then Kait showed—"

"You're rambling," I chuckled. "I wish you tried to talk to me anyway, but I get it. I'd be mad but we could have worked through it? Maybe? God I don't know." I released her hand as I stood and started pacing, my hands in my hair. Just then my phone buzzed in my back pocket. Speak of the devil.

Kait: You still alive?
Read 4:01pm

There's no way I'm replying. I could kill her right now. She let me feel all that pain. For what? To protect me? Yeah, funny. Fuck her.

"You okay?" Camila asked, placing her hand on my upper arm.

"I don't know."

"What's gonna happen now? I mean, with us." She asks slowly, carefully even. "Can we try again? Obviously I didn't just leave and you didn't hate me so..?"

"Yeah you didn't leave me, but you kissed someone else." I said, looking her in the eye.

"That was five years ago. I was sixteen, Y/N. I'm twenty-one. I'm not a kid." Camila was basically begging for a second chance by now.

"I just can't. Not right now. I-I have to go." I started to leave but Camila's hand around my wrist stopped me. She spun me around, and kissed me. I was paralyzed. Her lips. I forgot how addictive they were. I felt her tongue brush my bottom lip, trying to deepen the kiss. Suddenly, I realized what was happening, and I pulled away, resting my forehead on hers.

"Please...don't leave me. I cant lose you again." I saw tears fill her eyes, threatening to spill. I didn't know what to do at this moment. I couldn't decide right now. I don't know what's gonna happen but I need to think about it. So that's what I told her.

"I need to think about this. I'm sorry." I kissed Camila's forehead softly before backing away from her. "I promise you. I'm not gonna leave you. I need you in my life too." With that I walked away. Instead of hailing a cab, I just walked the rest of the way home. It wasn't a long walk and I needed to think. I needed to talk to someone. But the one person I would go to fucked me over. So, I just began to wander the city. I didn't want to go home. All I'd do is lay in bed and do nothing. Plus, the city was nice at night. I put in my headphones as I took in my familiar surroundings, hearing the soothing sound of Aquilo fill my ears.

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After an hour or so of walking, I found myself knocking on the familiar wooden door. After about thirty seconds of waiting, the door opened, revealing my best friend, well, I guess she doesn't deserve that title anymore.

"Hey. I didn't expect you. I thought you'd be back at Camila's place by now," Kaitlyn smirked. Though it turned into a frown as soon as she noticed my clenched jaw and red eyes. "What is it?" She asked, moving aside to let me in. 

"You told her to leave. You told her to leave and you let me wonder why she left," I started, staying outside her apartment. "You watched me break. You watched me cry myself to sleep every night--"

"Y/N, wait, just listen." Kaitlyn interrupted

"No! You're gonna listen!" Her interruption did nothing but piss me off more than I already was. "What kind of best friend does that? Huh? Ya know," I chuckled, humorlessly. "The funny thing is, if you just told me what you saw, I would have spoken to Camila myself. And maybe we'd break up. Maybe we wouldn't. That should have been my decision! It was my relationship! I wouldn't have been left wondering for five years. Five years, Kait!! I'm done. I'm done with you." I felt a tear slide, slowly down my left cheek. 

"I was trying to protect you. You have to believe me, Y/N!" Kaitlyn exclaimed, tears steadily falling. I had already turned away from her and had begun walking towards the stairs. I let my tears stream down my face as her yelling followed me as I stormed out. I exited the building, Kait following a few feet behind. "Would you just stop and listen!" 

I started walking down the street, away from her apartment, before stopping and turning to face her. "Kaitlyn, stop!" I screamed, effectively causing her to stand still. "I said I'm fucking done. So leave me the fuck alone." With that I continued down the street again, heading back home, the tears never stopping.