One at a time

How Low Can I Go?

don't sieze,
i tell myself as i keep walking
with frost forming in my veins
keep calm,
i whisper as i laugh with someone else
their arm around my shoulders
warmer than a microwave,
making me laugh
with them a few steps behind
limbs intertwined
and eyes magnetized on each other
keep smiling, i whisper

we've passed by each other
eight times and counting
my every sense tingling every time we do
with my whole self hoping every time
that you'd pause with even just a glance
that you'd stop and sit and tamper with ny wires
pressing every button until i regret wishing for you
and every time, you disappoint

even with someone's arms around me
someone who i can almost say
is warmer than you
the second i stepped away
my binoculars settled on you
even if i was looking on something else
talking and explaining about something else
to someone else
you were too there
and despite the building icicles
punching right through my blood vessels
i still laugh because
you made a joke my way
and for the first time today
it felt like i existed