Lovers in Tokyo | taegi

2

2. CALLA LILIES IN BLOOM

____________________________

Fate and time had intertwined their hands, and Yoongi and Taehyung met again by a stroke of pure serendipity.

Not exactly luck, Yoongi reckons, but something like gut intuition and decisions made at the snap of a hand and a piano concert held at the right place, at the right time.

For once, Yoongi didn't even know Taehyung was in Tokyo.

Granted, he hasn't kept in touch with his ex-boyfriend since they'd broke up five years ago, only occasional glimpses of him through his friends' stories and a couple of social media posts in which their mutuals have tagged Taehyung in. Those he had quickly scrolled over, a dull throb in his chest of a pain long past.

It's inevitable to avoid him, at first, after their break-up. Since Yoongi and Taehyung had ran around in the same circle of friends, a sort of loose community in their college days when they'd dated, they would have to bump into each other someday soon.

Still, Yoongi would initially opt out of invitations if he knew Taehyung would attend, and for a while it's tiring, this need to step out of sight. His friends had understood, but Yoongi still feels a bit weird, thinks that he couldn't stand to see Taehyung's sad eyes and wavering smile, couldn't stand people's whispers if they were to be in the same room, nosy friends and unrelated acquaintances wondering what happened to them. It gets under Yoongi's skin, but of course he couldn't avoid it forever, and so they'd met again a few times over the course of Yoongi's last semester.

Once at a house party, where Taehyung had looked unbelievably gorgeous and something in Yoongi's heart twists sharply, like a bolt out of the blue.

Once at a friend's birthday where Taehyung had laughed too loud and never once looked into his eyes.

And another time, the last one, and this had surprised Yoongi the most, because Taehyung had showed up to his graduation bearing a simple bouquet of calla lilies in bloom. He'd been with Yoongi's other friends, of course, and he didn't really speak much aside from congratulating him, but their eyes had met and Yoongi's heart had sank, right down to his stomach, when he saw Taehyung smile at him.

I wish you all the best, Yoongi-ah. I know how much you wanted this.

It hadn't been too long, the two awkward, and Taehyung had blinked too much and looked down at his shoes and Yoongi had kept staring at the crown of his ex-boyfriend's head, not really knowing what to say to that, not really knowing how to bridge the broken gap so he doesn't try to.

Instead he'd thanked Taehyung, and after a stilted short attempt at small talk wherein Yoongi learns that Taehyung had snagged a part-time job at his dream company and Taehyung had congratulated Yoongi on his acceptance in Juilliard's Graduate Diploma program, they'd parted ways without so much a handshake or a hug.

(That night, Yoongi bought a vase for the first time, a simple sky-blue one, and he'd rinsed the calla lilies and snipped their edges a little too short and placed the flowers on his bedside table. Often he'd look at them and be reminded of the words stuck on his tongue, words he wanted to say to Taehyung if he could - I'm sorry, I've always been too much, I don't know how to fix this but I hope you understand, I hope you achieve all that you wanted even if I'm not there along the way.

And then the truest ones, the most important ones: I still love you. I don't think I'll ever be able not to.

But Yoongi couldn't utter the syllables, couldn't find the courage to, and so the words had long since died along with the flowers.)

____________________________
i am so, so thankful for you reading this; it means so much, and you giving up your precious time to comment, vote, or even just read is such an amazing thing!

taegi is such a gem, and i'm so happy to be writing this, and even happier to have you read it, thank you for bringing me joy ❤️