52. launch

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52.

Where to begin when expressing how nervous I am? I have no idea where that would be. As I'm sitting in the car on my way to the Launch Party, it's hitting me that they are is sending me to this on behalf of them— unofficially.

Sure, I suppose it will give me exposure as well; but, after the article that blew up on Koreaboo, I'm not too sure where my own career stands. To be completely honest, that is not where my nervousness is coming from. I just really hate being in situations where I don't know anyone. This Dior launch will basically be a feeding ground, given I haven't made any solo appearances anywhere else.

I can't ignore how big my social media platforms are becoming. Although the Koreaboo article basically bashed my accomplishments, at the same time it gave me a reality check. I need to work on my voice— the one I'm always talking about. I can't be lazy.

I sigh heavily to myself and readjust the pink jacket I'm wearing. I figure that if I'm going to be used as some publicity doll tonight, I might as well look the part. I love to dress up, but it's even more fun when everything I'm wearing is expensive but part of a PR package that I received from a company. I have half a mind to send Jungkook a full length picture of my outfit.

Jungkook. I'm trying not to worry about him too much. He was over an hour late to practice. If I keep overthinking everything then I will surely go insane.

As I'm staring out the window at the bright lights of the city, it occurs to me that there is most likely an article about my appearance tonight. It would only follow suit with every other thing I've done for this company.

I'm scrolling on Twitter for merely two seconds before what I'm looking for appears. It's an ARMY translation account:

What? Sunmi is going to be there? I should've known— I vaguely remember her having a partnership with Dior

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What? Sunmi is going to be there? I should've known— I vaguely remember her having a partnership with Dior. Oh my God. My fingers are shaking as I click on the twitter account associated with her. Sure enough, she is tweeting about the launch party. My chest is pounding. I'm mentioned more than Sunmi on Korean platforms? People search my name over hers on Naver? What?

Sunmi is the definition of everything I would want to be. She prioritized her education over participating in Wonder Girls comebacks in the early years of her career. She did what wasn't expected of her and in the end, she made a name for herself.

And now, she is basically the staple of feminism and power. I respect all woman artists in Korea— especially now since I've been able to see first hand how K-media can be.

I can't believe this. I'm foolish to think I'm going to meet her, but I'm going to be in the same facility as her. I want to text Jungkook about how excited I am but I stop myself and check my wrist watch. I can't be anymore of a distraction from his work.

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