13 Guys, 2 Girls | Seventeen × You

Chapter 16

💄's thoughts__...

When I was young, I was bullied. Because of my ugly looks and my weak personality, there was never a time I had a friend. There's nothing I can do about this, I thought and gave up but everything changed when I was in high school. The lights of the penlights spreading on the screen, beautiful voices, dances, and, visuals. A perfect job that has everything, ...An idol. Lots of cheering and, their shining sweat and tears. The people who run from one end of the stage to the other end... I purely held admiration. From that day I started dieting, and I practiced make up which I wasn't good at. As I kept going, everything around me started shining. I made friends, I got a boyfriend, I was asked out many times, it was like a dream, I was even street casted. But the real world, isn't that nice. Even though I became a trainee 5 years pass, without being able to debut. That's when I noticed. This visual is fake, vocals and daces, are all chosen by taste.

👤「...Your possibility, to debut is... close to 0.」

When the boss directly told me that, I remember that anger was stronger than sadness. Just like that I became a make up artist, whether it's good or not, I became in charge of SEVENTEEN. I became jealous, of the girl that I met there that's the same age as me. After that, a girl that hasn't been a trainee for long joined. Even without make up the girl had an aura, and many people were fascinated. I, too, am one of those.

When I was harassing that girl, it was funner than anything else. By taking it out on her for having everything I wasn't able to get, made me feel stronger. Although, there's no way. Towards the members that were slowly leaving me, I kind of became anxious but at the same time in my heart, I felt relieved. They're, going to stop me...

By the time I realized, the situation had gotten out of hand. Something that I just started for fun has became normal, and by the time I realized it had gotten even worse.

If I'm the beginning of everything, I must end everything. I thought, I had that responsibility.

...Just kidding. In the end, I just didn't want to end up looking bad.

「..., 」

I don't have anywhere to go and there's no one who would pick me up.

「...I'm looking so bad, 」

I send something that would crush myself all over the world on my own, and make myself the bad one. When I beat Y/N up that time, ...for some reason, ...my heart really hurt.

I thought, Oh I am human too, although all I can do now is laugh.

「..., 」

My phone vibrates in the pocket near my chest. I don't even have to check who it is, I know who it is. I pulled it out to shut it down but the person calling wasn't the company but an unknown number,

「...Ha, I guess it's Y/N.」

That's, what I thought.

It's not like I'm going to meet her anymore, so I guess it's fine. That's what I thought, and I slide the screen with my finger.

「...Hello?」

Oddly my heart is calm.

『..., Unnie!』

Hearing Y/N's voice which seems to be rushing,  I realized that she already noticed. 

『Unnie, ...why, 』

「...That doesn't matter, your wounds must hurt. I'm sorry」

『...Why do you run away, ?』

「...I told you already. I'm weak」

『But that's, not right, !!』

Y/N fights back with a loud voice that hurts my eat. Behind her I can hear her members voices, telling her to calm down... Slowly, the crack between them should start getting better.

「You already, ...have the members.」

Even the members that didn't like Y/N, still had faith in her. They loved Y/N, they still thought, Y/N as a member. So, ...It's okay.

『...Please come back, !』

「...Well, when you guys become more famous, and when I feel like seeing you guys...I'll go visit」

『...』

「Bye」

『..., U___!』

「..., I can't face you anymore, idiot」

I mumble, and pick up the bag that was near by. I don't have anywhere to go, I don't have a destination, or anything.

I'm just going to, run.

「..., Do your best.」

To the very end, I'm looking bad.

💄's thoughts_end

When I called the number that Manager-Oppa gave me, Unnie picked up.

『......, 』

We involved many people.

Now, we have to put an end to it.

That thought, was the same as everyone else.

🐹「...Noona, ...Let's go have a chat together.」

👠「...Okay, 」

Will God still, ...Not, abandon me..., ?

🐹's thoughts_

The hallway that we walked down together, seemed longer than usual. Noona and I both don't say a word. A quiet practice room that no one is in... How long has it been. I remember just the two of us coming to practice together like this.

「..., Noona」

「...Soonyoung-ah, ...I'm, sorry, ...」

「, ...」

「..., I liked Soonyoung-ah so, ...I didn't want her to take you, ...!」

I don't think it's a bad thing to like someone. However, ...Hurting other people and, involving other people, is not right.

「, ...Soonyoung-ah... I like you, ...I've always liked you..., since we were younger...」

Noona is shaking. I just stare.

Noona, takes my hand. Her fingers as thin as usual... I am such a happy person to be loved, by such person.

「..., Noona, sorry」

But still, I couldn't fall in love with Noona.

「Sorry..., I, 」

「...No, , I'm sorry..., 」

No matter what, inside my heart, Noona is a beautiful and kind... Childhood friend. Why is it that I can't fall in love with Noona... That loves me so much to the point...where she does such thing.

🐹's thoughts_end. 

To be continued...