Chapter 20: Frostbite

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"We cannot stop the winter or the summer from coming. They are gifts from the universe that we cannot refuse. But we can choose what we will contribute to life when each arrives." -Gary Zukav

***

"Hey, Bucky!"

Harley freezes where she stands, turning her head slowly away from Steve's wrist. Bucky stands in the doorway, gun in hand, his eyes locked on her.

"Buck, what're you doing?" Steve asks as Bucky cocks the gun and points it at Harley, moving closer to get a guaranteed shot. "Bucky?"

"Shut up," Bucky growls, stopping just in front of him and pointing the gun to his head. Harley kicks it out of his hand just as he pulls the trigger. The shot fires and hits a rope with a heavy metal hook on the end, sending it flying down right on top of Steve. Harley yanks the remaining manacle off his wrist before he slumps to the ground so his wrist won't break.

Harley kicks Bucky in the chest, getting a hold of the gun as he stumbles back. She empties the cartridge, pushing the bullets down the nearby sewer grate with her boot.

"Stupid bitch!" Bucky yells, unsheathing a knife and rushing towards her. Harley sends flames his way with her good hand, moving away from an unconscious Steve.

Bucky throws stab attempts at her in every direction, one after the other repeatedly, until he manages to back Harley into the corner with minimal moving space.

"I should've done this when I had the chance," Bucky snarls. "You're good at procrastinating." The knife comes up to Harley's throat and cuts the skin-

Bucky is ripped away from Harley and thrown across the room, landing hard on the cold ground. Steve stands in his place, a slight bump near his forehead but otherwise unscathed.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

Harley wipes away the blood on her neck and nods. Bucky only got halfway across, and he wasn't pressing that hard, leaving only a thin strip of a cut.
Steve nods back, reaching behind her to retrieve his shield and turning around just as Bucky regains his composure.

"There's a brainwashing device on the back of his neck," Harley mutters to Steve. "I think if we get it off he'll go back to normal."

Steve nods once just slightly to show that he understands. He hits Bucky across the face with his shield as he comes at them again, throwing him to the floor yet again.

"Steve, be careful," Harley warns him. "Our Bucky is still in there somewhere."

"And in order to get to him, we gotta knock this one out first," Steve replies, stepping on Bucky's chest to prevent him from standing. His other foot holds down the metal arm, and he reaches down to rip the device off the back of his neck, crushing it in one hand and tossing it away with a metallic clink.

Bucky groans in pain under him and Steve steps off him to let him up, keeping his distance until he's sure it worked. Bucky sits on all fours, squeezing his eyes shut presumably against the pain in his head.

It seems like forever until he opens his eyes.

"Bucky?" Harley asks, edging towards him carefully. Steve grabs her arm to hold her back, but she shrugs him off. "It's okay." Reluctantly, Steve nods and lets her go. She reaches Bucky and kneels next to him.

Bucky's eyes are misty and watering, like a fogged up window on a humid day. He groans and rubs at them, sitting back on his knees. When he opens his eyes again they land on Steve first.

"Steve," he mutters, then notices Harley. "Harley..."

Steve makes the first move, striding over to help Bucky to his feet. He scrunches at the pain in his head and holds the bridge of his nose like he has a brain freeze.

"Bucky, are you alright?" Harley asks worriedly.

Bucky won't meet her gaze. "I should be asking you that question. Look what I've done." Tears well up in his eyes. "I hurt you."

"Bucky that wasn't you," Harley promises. "You had no control."

"No," Bucky denies, his voice raw and scratchy. "I did. I knew what I was doing. It was like I was watching it happen, but every time I tried to intervene I was invisible. I couldn't even hear myself."

"Like she said, it's not your fault," Steve says.

Bucky shakes his head slowly, then suddenly straightens up, pulling Harley behind him protectively.

Two Hydra agents stand in the doorway armed with guns and wry smiles.

"I got this," Steve whispers, wielding his shield to an upright position. With a quick flick of his wrist the shield bounces off the door panels, knocking both agents out before they could get to the trigger. "I'll go check for more." Steve moves towards the frame, disappearing soon after, leaving Bucky and Harley alone.

"Thank God for Steve," Harley says. "Bucky..."

Bucky's eyes are filled with tears again. He reaches a careful hand out to trace the cut on her cheek and moves down her face to her neck, drawing back immediately when she flinches slightly at the pain. He sees her bleeding hand and lets the tears go.

"Look what I've done," he repeats, examining Harley with such melancholy eyes that Harley can't help but wrap her arms around him tightly.

"Bucky listen to me very carefully," she says in a gentle voice. "You are not him. You didn't do this."

"Yes I did," he insists, pulling away from her. "It was my hand that brought the knife down."

"But did you want that? Like you said, you were standing in the background like a shadow. There was nothing you could do, and I don't blame you for this one bit. It's all on Hydra."

Bucky is visibly shaking. "How can I ever forgive myself?"

"You don't have to," Harley says, "because you shouldn't feel sorry for something you didn't do."

Bucky slowly stills, taking deep breaths and continually running a hand through his hair until the shaking stops. "I'm sorry."

Instead of responding, Harley wraps her arms around his neck and kisses all the pain away slowly. Bucky doesn't jerk away, but holds her waist with the gentlest hands.

"I love you," Bucky says, pulling away to gaze into her brilliant green eyes.

"I love you, too, no matter what."

Bucky sighs in relief, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on hers. "That's relieving," he tells her, letting his lips fall on hers again. The kiss is slow and tired, like a light snowfall, only increasingly more beautiful. Bucky lets go of everything in that moment, letting the heat of summer melt away the bitter cold of winter.

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