Darkest Desire

9. Actions and Reactions (EDITED)

Aurora wasn't sure why she was so angry about the whole DADA lesson and the situation Mad Eye Moody had created, but for some reason she just couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. She didn't know what it was, or what to do about it, but she had the distinct impression that something wasn't right, a dark and heavy feeling at the pit of her stomach that just wouldn't go away. 

She was still trying to make sense of it all as she tried to fight the apprehension and uneasiness that was seething just underneath the surface. She felt her heart race and it was as if her ears were roaring with some unheard sound. The thrumming noise overwhelmed everything else, and as she focused on her ragged breathing she realized with a bit of a startle that it was nothing but the beat of her own heart. Shaking her head at her own silliness, she took a few calming breaths, wondering what had disturbed her so.

Her stomach lurched at the images flashing behind her eyelids, she realized she knew the answer. The mice. Twitching, the blood, the spasms of the tiny bodies as they died a slow and painful dead, the smell of smoke laced with the scent of burnt flesh, the gleam of the wooden surface of the desk drenched in blood, the spasms of the last seconds of life of the three mice as they twitched in agony, their tiny paws scraping against the wooden surface, stained in crimson. How dare he?! She thought angrily, How could Mad-Eye Moody do such a thing? Commit such an atrocious act in front of them?

She'd always had a particular affinity for sensing the mood and disposition of the people around her, a valuable skill that had served its purpose often over the years. It also extended to animals, for that matter. Aurora always had a way with them, magical creatures or otherwise, managing to sense the nature of the animal in question and putting them at ease, somehow. It was a useful ability, although she'd never really stopped to think about its origins or ramifications.

It also meant she now knew why the whole episode had affected her so much. Usually she had an iron grip on her emotions. More often than not she put on an emotionless mask and pretended to remain unaffected by things that would bother others. Perhaps some of the agonizing despair of the mice had bled through her emotional barriers, somehow, and caused the anxious response she was currently trying to control. Or perhaps she was a bit more sensitive than she'd been willing to admit, feeling for the poor little creatures who'd found such brutal ends. 

And now her precious control was slipping, and she couldn't let that happen.

The events of the last few weeks were catching up with her and there was nothing she could do to stop the torrent of emotions that was flooding her system. Everything seemed like a blur, as if all of her attention was focused inwards, her surroundings nothing but a distant memory.

Was it school? Did going back to such a place really cause her that much stress? Aurora highly doubted it. Handling a few classes wasn't the problem. Surely it was something else. It had to be. Maybe the events at the Quidditch Cup had affected her emotionally. Or maybe it was being surrounded by so many people after spending so much time on her own that had finally gotten to her. Aurora was used to being independent, to being her own person and standing on her own two feet. Not that she'd become some solitary recluse or anything, in fact she had a pretty decent social life, but never anything this demanding. Maybe the pressure of interacting with so many people had triggered an emotional response.

Or maybe she was just going bat-shit crazy.

That last thought caused a smile to curve her lips upwards.

"....Miss Beauchanan?" a soft drawl sounded from beside her.

Deep in thought Aurora had failed to notice the person approaching her as she tried to sort through the events of the day, her eyes shut tightly and her hands pressed to her thighs firmly.