Black Cats

Chapter Four

Charmaine Pradelle

IT WAS NOT my fault. Tumingin ka sa iba, wag sa akin. Inosente ako. Hindi ko binigyan si Zed Montoya ng tatlong bilog sa kaniyang pulsuhan. Ipapatunayan ko sa 'yo.

I was a person of refined standards and subtlety. Just one look at him, I knew we would never get along. The closest relationship we would ever have likened oil and water.

The wicked witch who did this to my family would rot and die with worms and maggots some day. Ewan ko kung paano mangyayari iyon, pero lahat naman ay namamatay. Pati na din siya, kahit gaano pa siya makapangyarihan. Mabubulok din siya balang araw, magiging abo.

The only people who taught me how to love were my family and Katherine. The curse defined me like how a woman defined her hair as jet black, and her height as five feet and one inch. It followed me wherever I went, like being constantly aware of having moles and birthmarks on my body. My family and I were like those people with impaired legs, calling themselves people with disability. In our case, we had impaired hearts, and everyone we love would one day turn to gold and rest in peace inside the bullion vault.

Iniisip mo siguro, bakit kami nakikihalubilo sa mga tao kung mayroon kaming ganitong klaseng sumpa? Pumapatay kami ng tao gamit ang aming puso.

Our scenario was not black and white. By asking us not to love and need people, you were abandoning us as a specie of homo sapien. By not showing compassion to the people outside our family, by treating them with utmost indifference and cruelty—my family and I would ceased to be human, and walk among people as diabolical beings. With or without love, either way we would all become monsters without...

...purpose. That's what saved me and my mother everyday. Doing our purpose saved us from idle loveless lives.

Si Mama ang humahawak ng Tatak Narra Corporation sa aming pamilya. Noong bata pa ako, madalas niya akong isama sa field visits niya sa bukiran, palengke, gubat, at kung saan-saan pa. Tumatak sa akin ang adbokasiya niya na protektahan ang kalikasan kasi bukod sa akin, iyon lang daw ang pwede niya mahalin nang buo at hindi masasaktan.

Ang sabi niya, malaya naming mahalin nang lubos ang mga konsepto, paniniwala at adbokasiya. Mahal naming dalawa ni Mama ang kaisipan na ipagtatanggol namin ang kalikasan. Ibibigay namin ang lahat para ipaglaban ang karapatan ng mga puno sa lupa at isda sa dagat. Sabi ni Mama, pwede kong mahalin ang kalikasan at wala akong masasaktan na tao. Nilikha ng Diyos ang mga halaman at hayop para sa lahat. Walang kakayahan ang sumpa na alisin iyon sa akin.

Tinayo ni Mama ang Narra Environmental Institute noong bata pa ako. Pero hindi na niya ito matutukan nang husto dahil sa korporasyon. Hindi ko matatapatan ang talino niya, pero gusto ko siyang sundan sa environmental activism. Kaya nag-aral ako ng agriculture sa kolehiyo. Gusto ko siyang tulungan sa NGO na sinimulan niya. Pagkatapos ko sa kolehiyo, pinayagan ako ni Lolo Henriko at Mama na sumama sa mga pinsan ko na pumunta sa Netherlands para kumuha ng masteral degree. Saka ako pumasok sa NGO ni Mama pagbalik ko this year.

In my family, I was usually known as the hardest nut to crack. I made myself unique. Probably too much, I didn't have a sense of belongingess with other people. I veered away from liking popular things and mainstream phenomena so as not to admire people for having and doing the things I adored. And it worked.

Taylor Swift, Super Junior, and Girls Generations were not music artists, Mozart was. Twilight Saga was a grave disease in romance literature, Nabokov's Lolita was not. Movies created by Steven Spielberg and John Hughes were such rotten garbage—I found dozens of gold in movies created by Alfred Hitchcock.