SNS || jeon jungkook ✓

55. health

55.

I check my wristwatch for what seems to be the eightieth time in the last ten minutes.

The pristine white walls and polished smell of the hospital give me every feeling other than comfort.

We arrived about an hour ago. Immediately from the start I had an inkling that our time here would not be pleasant— Auntie cannot walk anymore.

I had to Google the word for "wheelchair" the moment we got to the hospital in order to get assistance. My Korean vocabulary for hospital needs— like everything else— is subpar. I could tell Auntie felt shameful in the fact that she couldn't walk, and she has been mostly quiet since.

Her blood work was done about an hour ago, but now we are sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the doctor to actually tend to us. I'm nervous and gnawing on my lip in contemplation. I don't like sitting and waiting for inevitable news that is unknown to me. It's the worst feeling, and now it is worse because it has to do with Auntie— a woman I have grown to care about deeply.

The thoughts running through my mind right now are all over the place. I don't know who to think about. My mind is racing with a million and one thoughts.

On one hand, I am anxiously waiting for what the doctor has to say about Auntie. I'm afraid that her cough will be labeled as some life-threatening disease. She hasn't been eating much, she is always flinching in pain, and now she is finding difficulty to even walk. I'm taking deep breaths to clear my mind, but it doesn't do much.

On the other hand, I cannot stop thinking about Jungkook. I know I thought he was amazing before my talk with Auntie, but since that discussion about power, I have not been able to stop thinking about how amazing he is. It only makes everything harder— but, it makes my heart hurt in a good way.

It indicates that being in this relationship with Jungkook shouldn't have to take my power away. It scares me because this might not be possible. It's my job to work with them to ensure that they know this too. Nevertheless, I can't wait to see him tomorrow.

"If you keep tapping that damn foot, I might have to cut it off."

I blink as I get torn away from my inner voice. I didn't realize I was tapping my foot in an nervous habit, but the moment I stop it's as if the sound echoes in my head. Suddenly the room seems claustrophobic and too silent for my liking. Breathe, Jae.

My smile is small at her threat, "sorry."

I check the time again. It's approaching 4PM. We have been waiting around in this death box for much too long. Everyone around here moves at a pace I'm starting to hate— elderly pace. We were in the waiting room for over an hour.

David should be landing soon. I check my phone in anticipation for a text from him. I sigh when there isn't one. I'm also hoping for a text from Jungkook, but that's foolish of me since I know he is sleeping. He needs to sleep.

"Why are you being so antsy?" Auntie's voice draws me from my thoughts again.

I lock my phone with a stressed sigh. I suppose she can hear the anxious shifting in my seat. This is new to me. I've never been in a medical examination room on behalf of someone other than myself for a check-up. I don't like this feeling.