Mine

Chapter 36:

Jazmine

I struggled to open my eyes. I'm in a dimly lit room. I look and notice I'm in the hospital. I touch my softened belly and shoot up ignoring all the pain that shot through my body.

"My baby! Where's my baby!?" I yelled over and over as I cried. The hospital door was swung open and in came the nurse and Jay.

"I'll get the doctor and your baby," the nurse said before leaving. Jay hugged me as I cried laying my head on his chest.

"She's fine, Jazmine, she's fine." He said reassuring me. "And so are you, thank God."

"I don't hate you, Jay. I love you," I said through tears.

"I know ma, I love you more. We just had a lot going on, but we're gonna get our shit together and be back to our ways I know it," he said pulling back wiping my tears and kissing me.

"How is she? Did y'all get her name right?" I asked.

"Yeah, Karmen Jay-Milan King. She's good bae," He started to explain everything about how she was when she was first born. "But the past two days she has got better. She's gained a pound, breathing on her own, and she's out NICU. To be born at 7 months almost 8 she's good."

I smiled thinking about her. "Wait, two days!?" I shouted.

"Uh, yeah. you have been in and out for two days."

"Where are the boys?" I asked.

"With Mom and Pops, I will tell them to bring them. They've been real down. Kjayy always asks for you and you know Kaine cries when he's away from you for a long time." I shook my head thinking of my boys sad without me.

"Here's baby Karmen," the nurse said as she rolled her in. Jay got up and picked her up right away. She snuggled her little body right into his chest. I smiled at them Jay sat down with her and begin feeding her.

"Umm Jay, can I see my baby?" I asked looking at him like he was crazy.

"Oh my bad I'm attached to my lil mama Karma already," he said as he chuckled and handed her to me. She whined as she let him go but she opened her eyes looking at me then calmed back down.

"Karma?" I asked.

"Yeah, I been calling her that."

"I like it," I whispered.

"Yeah, I feel like she's my karma, good and bad. Bad because of what we went through to get her here, good because she's here," Jay said looking lost in thought. "Like a wake up call for me."

About half an hour later Mama Carmen came into the room with Kjayy and Kaine.

"Mommy!" Kjayy said running to me but stopped before he could squish me and Karma.

I gave Karma to mama then picked up Kjayy hugging and kissing him.

"I missed you," Kjayy said with his arms wrapped tight around me like he was scared I was gonna disappear.

"I missed you too," I said holding in tears. "I'm not going anywhere."

Kaine started crying reaching for me. He's nine months looking just like Jay. "Ugh, Jayceon should have just birthed you himself how much you look like him," I said making Kaine laugh like he knew what I said. I kissed him all over his face making him giggle uncontrollably.

"Yo ass just mad all my youngins look just like a nigga," Jay said all cocky.

"Boy, Karma look just like Jazmine the more she pick up her weight." He stale faced his mom making me laugh. "She probably gonna be thick just like Jaz too."

I was done, I was cracking up because Jay looked like he could kill his mom right now.

"Ow, don't make me laugh. Why are you making that face, Jay?" I asked as my laughing eased up.

"I'm trying not to cuss her out," Jay said still staring at her. "Just pissed me the fuck off."

"You not crazy," Kjayy said making us laugh.

*
A Week Later

"All this damn pink," Jay said as we finished Karma's room. We just came home from the hospital today.

"I know, it's so cute," I said smiling as Jay glared at me.

Kjayy was trying to help with the baby stuff, it was so cute. Kaine was standing up reaching for me as I changed Karma. He can't walk yet, but he can stand up for a while. He tries to take a step, but he falls.

Karma started crying as I finished changing her diaper so picked her up and she stopped but then started again. Jay came and took her from my arms and she stopped completely. I couldn't even lie that made me jealous. I was use to my kids being so attached to me.

"You mad?" Jay asked grinning.

"No," I pouted as I sat on the floor to fold and put away clothes.

"You mad, it's okay if she like me better," Jay said as he sat down next to me.

"Mmkay, Jay," I said.

I ended up taking her from Jay. I wanted to take a picture of my kids so I sat Kaine in front of Kjayy. Then put Karma in Kaine's arms with Kjayy supporting her. My babies Kjayy, Kaine, and Karma.

*

"Is she asleep?" I asked tiredly as Jay came back into the room. It's three in the morning and Karma has woke up twice crying already.

"Yeah," Jay said laying down pulling me into him as he grabbed my ass.

"We have two boys, we need one more girl then we'll be set," I said into Jay's chest.

"No," He said making my head snap up.

"What? I thought you wanted a lot more kids," I said confused.

"I almost lost you and my baby girl, you think I'ma put you and another baby at risk, again? Hell no."

"Oh well I guess condoms for us," I said being smart knowing he won't use them with me.

"I ain't using no fucking condoms to fuck my wife. I already got that fixed though, so no."

My head snapped up. "What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

"I got fixed while you were at the hospital, I can't go through that scary ass shit again, Jaz." I pushed away from him. He tried to grab me but I pushed farther away.

"Jazmine," Jay said looking at me with pleading eyes.

I scooted away more. I turned over and went to sleep on the other side of the bed.

"Goodnight."