Ryden Oneshots

I, Robot

I, Robot (Machines Just Wanna Have Fun)

"Oh my god," Spencer said, "Ryan is not actually a robot, Brendon."

"He really is," Brendon said, and he could feel how wide his eyes were. "He – Spence, fuck, he's a fucking – this is too freaky."

Ryan was sitting on the arm of the couch, where he'd been since he came out of his bunk. He was jerkily following their conversation, his head stuttering towards each of them whenever they spoke.

"Is," Ryan said, and then he seemed to get stuck. "Is – is – is – is – is – is –" He dropped his head, twitched, and looked back up. His hat had fallen down over one eye. "Is something wrong?" he asked, his quiet voice expressionless.

Brendon giggled, breathless. "He's a broken robot," he said. "Oh, wow, this is messed up."

Jon shuffled through from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hands. He'd been the one who'd first mentioned that maybe something wasn't right with Ryan. ("It's just, okay, I didn't mean 'Good morning' as, like, an order, but he's getting really upset trying to compute it or something?")

"Hey, Ry," Jon said now, his voice soft. "You want some coffee?"

Ryan dropped his eyes to the cup, blinking very fast. He lifted his eyes again. "Do you want me to?" The upward inflection was so slight that it might not have been a question at all.

"Sure," Jon said. "I'd like you to."

Ryan reached for the cup, his hands awkward. He took it carefully, then hesitated for a moment while he worked out how to convey it to his mouth. It was the freakiest thing Brendon had ever seen, no lie.

Ryan raised the mug to his lips in a series of jerks. Coffee splashed over the rim onto his wrist, but he didn't seem to notice. He took a sip, then froze in place for a long moment. "I don't think –" he said. "I don't – think – think –"

"Fuck," Jon said. "It must be bad for his circuits or something."

Brendon couldn't even breathe through his laughter.

*

"Okay, look, something happened," Spencer said. His voice was thin, and he was pacing between the kitchen and the lounge. "We need to work out what happened, and then we can –"

"Fix him?" Brendon asked.

"He's not broken!" Spencer said. "He's not broken because he's not actually a robot. I don't know why he thinks he is."

Jon bit his lip, leaning to the side, his eyes on Ryan. "What do you think he's meant to do?" he asked. "I mean, if he's a robot, what's he meant to do?"

They looked at Ryan. He was trying to go through into the bunks, but he kept misjudging where the doorway was. Every time he bumped against the frame he made a small, confused sound and backed up to try again.

"It doesn't matter," Spencer said flatly. "Because he's broken."

Brendon choked on his laughter again and Spencer glared, his face tight. "Only not actually, oh my god, Brendon."

Brendon tripped over the edge of the couch on his way to Ryan, still giggling. "Hey," he said, turning Ryan around. "Hey, little robot Ryan. You need to give up on that. The doorframe's not gonna move for you."

Ryan looked at him. "Hey," he said. Brendon gave him a broad grin, more because he couldn't think of anything to say than for any other reason. Ryan thought for a moment, then shifted his mouth awkwardly into a smile. His eyes were flat and the smile didn’t really convey any expression at all.